


Tangerines and Sea Salt

by tetsarou



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alpha Shiro (Voltron), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - College/University, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Masturbation, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Omega Lance (Voltron), Past Relationship(s), Pining, Rutting, Scent Kink, Updating as I go, Virgin Shiro
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-04-17 18:57:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14195580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tetsarou/pseuds/tetsarou
Summary: Shiro has found the perfect omega to live his life with, but the guy doesn't even consider him anything other than a friend. They have known each other for a year now, and nothing has changed, but Shiro holds onto a hope, and also Lance's smell.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another abo fic? Well, I have plenty to write about so hold on guys!

“Uh huh, so what you’re saying is you’re a virgin.”

Shiro paused in his writing, mentally backtracking in an attempt to figure out what he said.

How had he let that slip? Well one: Shiro was weak for blue eyes. Two: he was weak for boys with blue eyes and impossibly gorgeous smiles. Lance had both.

The omega was downright intoxicating.

Looking over at him, it is was near impossible to keep a smile down. Lance brought it out of him so naturally. But there was no way he was going to give any confirmation of that little information, so he bit his tongue, hard. 

The little weasel was trying to pry information out of him. And it sucked because Lance knew exactly how to do it, leaning forward on his arms to listen and eyes half lidded, grin steadily growing on his face. It was irritating and downright unfair.

Shiro loved that look to no end, a hint of sleazy mixed in with his natural charm. Lance had him in a corner.

_The little shit!_

With the way Lance acted, he must have known about Shiro's crush on him. But he didn't and that made it worse. Shiro had spent weeks pining after him when they first met only to realize he didn't really have a chance. Lance was insufferable sometimes, smile wide as he laughed, the sound coming from his very core and it melted Shiro. He couldn't stand how easily his heart got dragged around! Shiro's words all but floated away from his head, or he blurted out what was at the front of his thoughts whenever Lance laughed like that. He was so blatantly genuine and happy.

And Shiro wanted to keep him happy. Even found himself talking nonsense to keep Lance's attention, even if it was really personal stuff, like the fact Shiro never had any partners before farther than hand holding and chaste kisses.

Lance was too easy to share with, he made it fun, but now Shiro wanted to crawl under his table and whine. He wasn't sure if it was an omega thing or if Lance really had that effect on him, but those eyes and eyelashes made it hard to resist.

He had met many seductive omegas before, but Lance caught his attention in an impossible, and maddening way. His medication helped from getting him too distracted when someone with a little more intentions than hand holding sided up to him, but Lance was a completely different story. Shiro had to take his meds on the dot with Lance, there was no skipping or putting it off to the last possible moment. Shiro hated how downright intoxicating his friend was.

He was here at the university to learn, not prodding and pawing after some flirty betas or tempting omegas. Shiro was here for his mom. He wanted to see her smile the way she does when the corners of her eyes crinkle and nose scrunched during his graduation. She deserved that after raising a mess like him by herself. He wanted to give back to her, seeing how she went through so many of his medical bills and being a single parent on top of that.

There was no way he could get distracted from that. Yeah, he had some dates recently and flirted, but he never followed up with the advances, and more often people came up to him. Shiro always felt awkward declining them, but he didn't see himself with anyone. And the one person he did want to try with slipped out of his fingers over an over.

But his company was worth more than anything to Shiro. He loved hanging out with the loud guy, hiding his face and smile when Lance starts making a scene in public, screaming at Keith ‘look everyone, this guy is a liar, look’! Or the common, top of the lungs scream ‘he’s stealing‘.

Often enough Shiro would snort and try to keep his eyes from watering. Keith's face was priceless, tired, on the verge of disgust, and light tinge of pink on his cheeks. He knew Keith wanted to punch Lance, but they had a strange relationship. Lance pushed, but not too far as to actually piss Keith off. It was a strange affection, and one Shiro was jealous of. He'd admit that. He liked the way Lance draped himself over the other omega, lounging so at ease on each other as they scrolled through their phones. Sometimes chest to chest and Lance's long legs twined with Keith's, small laugh shared between them whenever Lance showed him a video.

Shiro was so damn jealous of that, but the two had known each other since they were kids. It was a relaxed kind of freedom between the two, and they weren't shy by any means with each other.

Lance caught Shiro off guard one day, nearly choking on his drink, with how casual Lance was with Keith, having all but flashing them in the picture he sent, asking for Lance's input on the outfit. Shiro didn't mean to glance over, but the lace and ribbons was unexpected and while he doubled over choking on ice, Lance only smirked and typed out a reply. How was he so calm about all this?

Yet, he marveled at the little smile Lance had and the way he rose a brow, asking Shiro if he was okay. No, he wasn't, not at all with the way his heart was racing. But he smiled, nodded, and continued staring at Lance as he texted Keith once more before turning back to Shiro. He didn't mind, at all. It gave him a moment to marvel.

But he also had easy days with Lance, when they would relax on the couch and watch shows or try to destroy the other on Shiro's playstation. He relished these times, where Lance would doze and press right up against him, blearily peeking open an eye to watch Shiro play his game, or even tilt his head in and press right into his side.

He shivered every time, and while he hoped Lance didn't notice he was more than 90% sure Lance felt it. But it was strange, having him this close, having Lance's smell cover his senses and yet not having him in any other aspect other than they were friends.

And it was eating Shiro alive.

While he was trying his hardest not to think about Lance every waking minute, he insisted on permeating Shiro's space and wrapping him up in that smell. It was the omega scent, that fruity and clean smell when he was off heat, and then there was Lance‘s natural musk that Shiro couldn’t get enough of. There was nothing like it. It left him warm and buzzed, his tongue felt heavy with it, sweet and sticking to his pores for hours after like honey. 

The scent reminded him of how Lance described his home, warm from the sun but clear and crisp. It often masked any other scent, so sure of itself, just like this man in front of him. It was the act of eating tangerines, it was a hot day on the beach, overwhelming but the sudden cooling breeze off the ocean was enough to make his skin shiver.

That's why it was so hard to concentrate, with Lance laying in his lap or wandering around his apartment. His smell soaked into everything. So it was like having someone close, like Lance was his, and he left a subtle little piece of himself everywhere. It was hard to do school work when the pillow he had under his chest and chin was covered in the smell of Lance.

Shiro has been so tempted, on one too many occasions, to scent him. He had been wanting to rub himself on Lance for ages, if only to have some sort of that scent to stay on his person even after showering. He would love nothing more than to rub Lance's scent glands, see them swell from the attention and pour over Shiro’s senses. It was an addicting thought.

But that was way over the line. He dreamed about it, but never let his eyes wander too much over that neck, up to where the soft dip of his skin met with his jaw. Shiro caught himself one too many times doing that, and Keith had as well.

It was embarrassing, seeing the man raise an eyebrow at him, eyes lidded and thoughtful as they roamed over Shiro. But Lance cut through it fast, oblivious and loud, laughing at something Matt said and bumping his shoulder with Shiro’s.

And the first time Lance fell asleep on Shiro instead of Keith, it was like getting stabbed. Keith's eyes were so sharp and harsh. Shiro swallowed and shifted, trying to get Lance to shift closer to Keith, but he followed and rubbed his hair over Shiro's chest. 

Shiro felt like he was going to die at that moment from his look. He has seen Keith jealous, but never expected it to be towards himself, so he shrunk and pretended to doze off instead.

He flinched when Keith had stood up and moved to go sit between Hunk and Matt as they tore through Shiro's games. Shiro didn't miss the change in Matt's face, how he lit up and became more animated.

Shiro smiled to himself, but he was soon taken over by the person curling up around his arm and against his side. Lance was awake, one eye open as he peered up at Shiro and asked if they could lay down. And of course how was Shiro supposed to say no to that?

So in thirty minutes Shiro found himself on his back and pressed into pillows, Lance crowded against his chest and sharp hip jutting into Shiro's thigh, watching the trio only a few feet away as they talked and yelled. There was no way Shiro was going to move, despite his arm going numb and how the sharp points of Lance's body somehow found a way to jab him. Shiro was unbelievably warm and relaxed, breathing in Lance a little deeper than usual. He let the scent mull his brain and settle his nerves, to something almost dopey as he watched Lance breathe. Shiro could feel his stomach dip with each exhale, and then how it pressed against Shiro's side when inhaling deep.

He let himself drift then, pressing further back into the pillows as he curled his arm tight around Lance. He wanted to make a little chuff, to wake Lance and see the stars that were in Shiro’s eyes when looking at him, to breathe in his own soothing scent that laced the air around them and lulled Lance to breathe deep as he slept.

Shiro wanted Lance to commit his smell to memory, like how Shiro did with him. There would never be a time when he couldn't pick out Lance from a crowd. He was too distinct, noticeable and unforgettable.

He was trying to get through school and then here comes this lean tall glass of water and Shiro’s ready to be drenched in him. Shiro had tailed after that scent for days. It made residence in the forefront of his mind, luring him with little touches along his chest and face, brushing lightly but not too harsh or heavy. But the way it filled his lungs made it hard to breathe, thick and slow as it circled through his bloodstream and back out. Shiro was high off the stuff, and he knew it, but there was no way he was ever going to stop.

It made him loopy, so yeah, there was no question as to why Shiro had blurted that out. Lance was the sole beneficiary of this and it had Shiro going in circles. It was an endless cycle of fuck up after slip with his mouth.

And here he was, telling his whole sex life to this utterly ethereal man… which was limited and actually nonexistent.

Lance was waiting, that impeccable smile of his spreading up into his eyes. His brow arched and Shiro followed the movement. A dog after a bone, whining and begging the whole way.

Shiro swallowed, mulling the question over in his head. Yes, he was, but why was he so nervous to say it? He shouldn’t feel ashamed, right? But then again, should he? Was he not supposed to be a virgin? Why was Lance looking at him like that?

“I… is that bad?”

“No, no, I’m just surprised is all, with a man of your stature I figured you’d have at least three suitors hanging off each limb.” Lance’s little smile was too strange following those words. A bit too playful, and all the more scary with the thoughtful look in his eyes.

Oh he was going to be the death of Shiro. Lance didn't know this but Shiro felt the last shreds of his stability holding on. This was getting into some dangerous territory. It's not like he could voice what he actually wanted, and with Lance. His friend, his right-hand man, the loud and boisterous one of the group.

He couldn't admit all the times he had touched Lance and wanted to do more. Instead of tapping his arm to get his attention, Shiro wanted to grab his hand and lead him off somewhere.

He remembered when they would do stuff like that, Lance being the one to grab him and drag him off. And now that they were more comfortable, Shiro was the one running off with Lance and his wicked grin in tow, the others groaning but tagging along as well.

Shiro remembered Lance's excited whoops as they drove around in his jeep, top gone and cruising. Keith, Matt, and Hunk pressed up in the back when Lance claimed the front. None of them minded, and Shiro loved how Lance proceeded to drape himself over the door of the vehicle, feeling the wind and salt on his skin as they made their way down to the beach. 

They had taken the weekend off, and took the three-hour drive to the coast by Shiro's suggestion. There was no way he was trying to impress Lance, not at all, nope. It was more than enough to see his eyes light up at the plan. Lance had been the first one in the car and the last in when they were leaving.

The sand stayed in Shiro's car for weeks after, but he never forgot the way Lance looked, head back as they slowly drove their way down to the water from their hotel, wind blowing through his hair and sun kissing his soft skin. He looked so warm. 

And he smelled like the sea more than ever-light, clean, the breeze carrying the sun wherever it went. Shiro had been greedy that weekend, laid out on his back with Lance on the hotel room floor while the other three had taken their turn on the bed. He had watched Lance, curled up on his side and face pressed into his pillow, breathing deep in his heavy state of sleep. He was motionless and Shiro was too, unable to tear his eyes away from the sight, wanting to trace his fingers over the new freckles that showed on his cheeks and shoulders after their two days in the sun.

Shiro paused. He needed to stop getting distracted, he had an exam and was nowhere near close enough to being ready, but that was impossible with Lance smiling at him.

He was expecting more answers. But what else was there to say? Shiro had a nonexistent sex life, and that was all. Still, Lance was leaning forward and waiting for something.

“I, uh, never found the time?” Shiro tried.

“Why do I not believe you,” Lance laughed. Yeah, that was a blatant lie, but he didn't know what else to say. “I watched you binge watch five hours of youtube two days ago, Shiro, you don't do anything else but study, sleep, and fuck around on your computer.”

Shiro frowned. He liked his free time. Most of it he spent with Lance.

Lance gasped suddenly. “Wait, are you talking to someone online? Is that why you're always on your computer?” He looked mischievous, eyeing the laptop hidden under a pile of notes and flashcards.

“Is it that girl, Allura? Is that who it is?” Lance's smile spread wide. “I bet it is, you always talk about her, and she's right in your league. Hot, brilliant, fun, the total nine yards. You should ask her out!”

“No! What?” Shiro sighed. “No, no, it's only business type stuff. She's helping me and Matt with an internship at the Garrison.”

“Oh, getting all the hookups,” Lance smirked. His blue eyes were bright and playful, just like before.

Shiro huffed. This was bad. “No, it's not like that-"

“Shiro, you're blushing, I know you're lying!” Lance laughed.

Little knots started growing in Shiro's stomach. He loved that laugh, but also he hated how Lance was using it, misreading the whole thing. He was blushing over Lance's face and noises, not this woman. Yeah, she was gorgeous and all, but he felt nothing for her in that way. And how Lance laughed, it made his heart flutter and drop all in the same moment.

“Lance, please, I swear it's not,” Shiro groaned. “But I need to study, okay?”

“Fine, we can talk about it later.” The smile on Lance's face didn't leave, but it didn't reach his eyes like before. Shiro stared for a moment. He has seen that before, but he could never name the emotion before it was gone. “But I know you have a thing for her, it's obvious.”

Shiro nearly whirled on him. But if only he had the confidence enough to show Lance who he really wanted. He wanted to see Lance laid back in the bed and purring up at him, playing with Shiro's fingers like he has seen other omegas do with their mates. Loving each and every part of their mate as they twined their fingers and smiled at one another. It seemed so easy, so right, but Shiro's heart was in no condition to have that then. It felt like bursting when considering Lance looking at him in such a way.

He felt a weird mixture of want and confidence course through him. Shiro should keep his eyes on his book, but he also wanted to prove something to Lance. That Shiro has been wanting him for months.

Luckily Lance dropped the conversation, sparing Shiro that rampant, playful look of his and turned away to flip back through the pages of his English assignment, twirling his pencil between his fingers as he read. Shiro couldn’t stop himself from smiling. Lance was always in motion and the tapping of his pencil and turning of pages was much louder than normal today. It wasn't annoying, not at all, Shiro adored Lance's company and hearing him move, but he couldn’t get past this problem, and what was frustrating was that he had done one like it before, so why couldn’t he do it now?

All he could do was scribble for a while. Nothing. He turned back to his book in hopes to find some sort of solution. Nothing! He stared at it for a few minutes trying to backtrack. _Damn it! There’s no hope!_

He flipped closed his book and huffed when the papers he had scribbled little harsh lines into scattered onto the floor. There it was, that laugh, and Shiro caught those blue eyes and questioning eyebrows turned towards him again.

“A~llura?” Lance teased, bouncing his pencil between fingers. Shiro couldn't help noticing that. Lance did it when he was nervous.

Shiro has seen the way Lance looked when he took exams, or even studied for one, leg bouncing and pencil about to fly from his hand is it flipped between his fingers. He was exhausted but didn't stop, mind whirling over a thousand times a second, trying to make sense of it all. And then it clicked and the tension washed from his body in relief before he was onto the next question.

Shiro shook his head. No, not at all. His mind kept wandering back to the person on his bed, who had been bent over their lap, writing on their notebook and reading from their laptop, picking at the keys as if they were back in elementary learning how to type, clearly bored and out of it.

There was a moment of silence, with Shiro drinking it in and breathing as he looked up at the ceiling, and Lance tapping away before he paused.

“Hey.” Lance sat up and patted the bed next to him, tossing aside his own book and notes. “Come over here a sec, you look terrible and I can’t have that. Plus you’re distracting me.”

Distracting him? He could write a whole twenty page analysis on all the ways _Lance_ was distracting _him_. He'd need more pages than that, actually, but it was the max length for his paper. 

Lance pat the bed again. Yeah, he would need way more than twenty. Shiro snorted and muttered a thanks, getting Lance to smile again.

He rolled his chair over a little too eagerly, but what could he say? Lance was his kryptonite, and he was never going to admit that out loud. Ever since Shiro met him a year ago, he has done nothing but hover after Lance. It's been such a sweet year. Shiro has never felt more at ease and in total control of his life, but also, he never felt such insufferable fondness and desire, and it was eating him whole.

An entire year of this back and forth motion in his head, the endless pining and torture. It was all self-inflicted, but what else could he do? Nothing, not when a gorgeous man had been shoved into his arms at a party, covered in paint and glitter, and hanging onto a cup of some of the strongest alcohol Shiro has even been around. He half fell into his life, head tilting back to look up at Shiro and apologized. Adorable and tipsy as he stood up, teetering on his feet only a moment. _Drunk._

And Shiro was dazed.

He’d never had his chest ache in such a way when seeing this man, it’s like his heart burst open and warmth spread through his whole being. And then that smell. It had hit him like a crashing wave, and it was late to realize he had forgotten to take his medication for that cycle, he missed the two week marker and had to wait another couple of days. That was when Shiro realized that he couldn't, by any means, miss a pill when around Lance. He learned it early on and fast.

Because his rut came on that same night, and he was suffering. This guy had triggered it so easily, simply rubbing up against him had the omega’s scent lingering in his head and all the next few days. That scent would be, and still is, forever etched into his being.

It was everywhere, in his hair, his clothes, seeping into his pores. It made residence in his home, in his life.

He remembered talking to Lance during the party about constellations of all things. But Lance's eyes had lit up, like the stars of Orion, and there was no way Shiro was going to stop while he had Lance's attention like this. He was not going to stop with the way Lance was gazing at him, full of wonder, bright tinge of color across his face and his smile impossibly wide.

Of course, he had to meet Lance like this, where he would never see him again. And why had Shiro gone to that party in the first place? It’s not like he was good in those social situations either. But Lance had him mesmerized for hours, talking in quieter corners of the house, at one point drifting outside onto the patio. There was nobody there other than a few people passing around a joint, too cold for others to come out. It was quiet, wonderful, and they talked a little longer, wrapped up in some blankets they found and watching the first flurries of snowfall stick to the ground.

Them separating was like ripping his heart in two. But Lance jolted when his name was called, another omega jumping in front of them suddenly with a bigger man in tow. His eyes were hard as soon as they landed on Shiro, smelling him immediately.

Lance explained as they walked to the front door, the four of them slowly making to leave, that this guy, Keith, wasn't too fond of alphas, not after his last partner. Shiro could see it, the old bond mark there on the back of the omegas shoulder. It looked rough, painful. Shiro never asked about it though, and Lance still hasn't told him. Shiro admired that. Lance stuck to his friends boundaries.

But Lance had suddenly kissed him before getting into the car. Hot and lingering when Shiro had started to feel the cold creep of sadness seeping into his chest. Shiro remembered gasping, saying the new name softly and a little shocked, but saw the smile on Lance's face. His eyes were distant but thoughtful, face a deeper red than what his drunk state was already.

Shiro had stared out his window the next morning, after having woken up on his couch, looking up at the street lamp close to his window and running his fingers over his mouth. Lance probably wouldn't remember it, he was drunk, but Shiro couldn't help the smile that broke out.

He could feel the curls of his rut dig into his thighs, desire swelling in his chest. But he didn't want to taint the image of the man, soft and genuine, smile wide as he laughed at Shiro's jokes.

Those blue eyes, bright and entranced, had stared right into Shiro. There was no way to describe it, other than he felt like drifting in those eyes, caught up in the need for the space around him to be air, cool and weightless, or water, comforting and heavy. It wrapped him up, the gaze taking each breath away, until he was gasping, struggling to get a hold of his own head that this man had perpetrated. 

He had given up trying to be social at the party, and let this man pull him around, danced for a bit before Lance grew exhausted of it all. That scent. It made its way into his being, soaking in deep and fast and punching the air out of him. That sweetness replaced the air he needed, so all he could live off was the smell of the ocean and fruits.

Shiro didn’t miss his rut. Most of his work had to be left alone for a couple of days with it sending sparks through every nerve. He nearly missed an assignment. The overwhelming need for _something_ had been ever present, and he blamed the shirt from the party, laid out over his bed as it filled his room the sweet aroma.

It was a heat scent from that beautiful omega. He must have just ended his heat because of how faint it was, but it was enough for Shiro to follow him the whole way through the party. He guessed that's what it was, how he got so attached, and then why that other omega had come in with teeth and nails bared at Shiro. But… he never considered that. It didn't click in his head, not until after he got home and felt his knees turn to jelly for a moment before giving out. 

Shiro guessed that made sense, with all the glances made Lance's way, and how one too many times Shiro caught someone peering at them as they talked. He wondered if that's why Lance moved them from place to place so much. There was even a tense moment where Lance had hurried past a door, and Shiro heard it, could smell the unfurling of hormones and sounds from behind it, little omega calls interrupting his thoughts for a moment.

Lance seemed okay as soon as they got outside and away from everything, and Shiro drifted in and out of a state of bliss, watching him talk as he munched away on a stolen box of goldfish.

But that was it. Shiro would never see him again after that.

His smell stayed, drifted in the house and stuck to Shiro's shirt even after washing it. The sweetness stuck to the back of his throat as he breathed, clung to his couch for a few weeks after having passed out there when returning home. He woke up, hard on and pressed against his zipper painfully. His rut was full force, but he didn't have the energy to take care of it. He longed, but not in any way that made him want to make a nest and be consumed in oblivion and heat.

Shiro’s chest ached painfully for that voice, to see those eyes and touch him again. He was so soft, smooth in a way that Shiro knew he took care of himself. Despite the slight stubble the man had, he looked pampered and spoiled. _Lance_ , he would never get tired of that name.

Shiro smiled solemnly to himself, realization weighing heavy on himself, and yet wanting to doubt it. Lance was drunk. He wouldn't remember any of that. And he most likely had a mate, at least a partner, already. How could he not? 

Maybe that was why he smelled so good, delicious but untouchable, a reminder about how it could be once Shiro had someone like that. He wondered if that's how good his mate would smell to him, and he couldn't wait.

He found it easier to touch himself after that, mouth open as he let his hand work off all the tension and heat in his body, legs twitching and spread, noises unbidden and loud in their release.

It was easier when Shiro knew that there was no way he could have that now, but he would. He needed to get out there more, find someone that was as special as Lance was to his partner. It set fire to his veins wondering what they would think, seeing him spill over himself and moaning loud as he gripped his knot. It brought a smile to his face, but all he saw was Lance, crawling up over him, smile wide as he settled between Shiro's legs and fingers dancing over the slip of his shirt that showed his stomach.

He smiled again, slipping his jeans off and spreading his legs, letting his fingers dip down lower. Shiro needed his rut to leave, so he was pushing it, needing to press up against those nerve to stimulate himself again. He needed to knot again, wanted it gone. Shiro had too much to do.

But his mind kept wandering, feeling the bit of slick there, making it easy to push in just enough to touch that sweet spot and have his hips jolt. He wondered if his mate would do this to him, coo and chirp playfully as they slipped a finger in, willing his knot to fill until he went over the edge once more, getting off on their fingers alone.

He remembered that embarrassment, seeing Lance's face over and over again. It was torture, pure fire that ate his limbs and pushed him back under into blackness as he thrust up.

His rut had been insatiable, licking its way up his spine in its last moments and sending him over once more, weakly cumming onto the wood floor. He stared at his spread thighs, cock finally softening fully within minutes, the last curls of rut pooling deep in his stomach before dissipating. And then the ache set in his limbs, heavier and more insistently than anything he had before.

His ruts always tore through him with exhaustion after, but this one, he could feel how hard it was going to hit. Shiro slept all day after that. He woke up late, around nine pm, and set to cleaning up his apartment. He hated his rut scent, it was always too strong, so he made to clean his sheets and anything he had used, filling the air with bleach as he set to scrubbing his bathroom spotless.

And that's when he realized it, that Lance's smell was gone, having long vanished when Shiro lost hold of reality. His alpha scent had snuffed it out quickly.

He still wore that shirt, wishing for the smell back. But he remember it and how it set him alight easily after only a few hours surrounded in it.

Shiro was right about Lance not remembering the kiss. It was weeks later, when he finally got a hold of himself, that they saw each other again.

By some luck or hope, and Shiro thanked every entity later, because that night he decided to stay late and walk through the biology labs. For no particular reason. Maybe to catch Coran to ask a question about their upcoming exam. Or maybe not.

But again, that pretty man bumped into him, screaming as he dogged and almost dropped the tray of glassware he had in hand.

Shiro’s gaze was met with a steady glare, but was soon gone. Lance recognized him immediately, and that sent Shiro's heart into overdrive. And that smell? It smacked into him hard, like a slap from a lover who had too much playful force. And it played hard. It hurt to breathe in, and was even more loud and intoxicating than he remembered. At least he took his pill only two days ago.

There was a pause, before Lance laughed, light and airy, but cut off fast when he was shoved from behind, the small person growling about something along the lines of ‘move your ass before we're caught’. 

Shiro blinked once. It was Katie, and as soon as he had spied her, she jumped and tried to dodge behind Lance. What the hell was she doing here with him?

He learned that actually, his best friend and loyal confidant, Matt, the one man he trusted with his secrets and life, was in fact friends with the cranky omega he had met earlier. Shiro would say a little more than that actually, with how they hovered around each other, and also the large beta, who he came to know as Hunk. A rightful name in Shiro's opinion.

The first full grouping they had together was tense, seeing as how Shiro was the odd ball in all this and the only alpha of the group, besides tiny Katie, who had yet to present. She often took leeway of Matt's connections to the labs at UA, borrowing some equipment. Lance was her top accomplice, because he was the one that knew the lab schedules backwards and forwards, plus, he never let her get in trouble.

Luckily, there was Lance to lighten the mood, so it was easy to forget about the hard stares Shiro got from the man sitting right across from him. Dark eyes boring into him, a little bit more than a disdainful expression across his face. It was _so_ easy to forget that, with the way Lance laughed.

He didn't want to admit it, but Shiro was completely enraptured in everything he said. _Everything_ , even if the others cringed. Hunk mentioned something along the lines of Shiro needing to put his tongue back in his mouth. But it was out of jest, and said it's no surprise. But that sent Shiro reeling. How many people gave Lance the same looks? Is this why Lance wasn't looking at him the same way like during the party?

That was one of the moments when he realized that Lance didn't see him like that, that Shiro had no chance. There were other times, more heart wrenching than the last, that solidified his thoughts. Yeah, Lance definitely had someone, he was on the phone and texting too often not to. Plus, Shiro would never get his attention like that again.

Drunk Lance was a one time thing that he was going to cradle to his chest for a while. If not, forever.

It made it hard now, hearing Lance huff as Shiro rest his head on the man's legs. Shiro tried to keep his heart steady, but gave up when Lance started rubbing his fingers over Shiro’s face, along his lines and curves. He had done this many times before and Shiro pretended to himself that it was a way to calm himself, but that was a lie.

Lance pressed his fingers to Shiro's brows and ran them down to brush over his eyelids. "Close your eyes, let me give you the Lance study pack special." 

Shiro scoffed and he could practically feel Lance's smile. It warmed his heart.

"Shut up,” Lance said, shoving his head lightly.

"I didn't say anything," Shiro hummed. 

"You are now so _hush_."

His nails trailed along Shiro’s jaw, gently scratching at the faint glands along the soft dip in his skin under his ears. Shiro shivered but let Lance continue his little journey over his skin. He loved those hands, long and thin fingers with soft palms and nails long enough to leave thin red lines on his skin.

They faded in moments but Shiro wished they stayed longer. But dreams were dreams, and he lived plenty of those with Lance in mind. Shiro smiled to himself. This was ridiculous, he was a complete mess as Lance took Shiro in his hands and worked over him until he was a perfectly pliant.

Lance traced over his eyebrows, humming as he went, calming down the alpha with his hands and scent. It helped, the little change in his normally fruity smell turning deep with his natural musk, but also other parts of himself were picking up in interest. 

Lance was trying to soothe the slight distress Shiro had, still his mind for a while and get him to listen to the noises he made. They were beautiful, Lance had a dulcet tone, even and deep. It traveled through Shiro’s body and made every cell in him spark, but also lulled the the flow of thoughts through his head, but also sped up some things.

Shiro choked back a whimper. It was intoxicating. The smell had its grip on him once more. He leaned forward and rested his arms over Lance’s legs, trying to hide the swell in his glands. Shiro knew he was reacting to Lance, waiting to release his own scent and he didn't trust which one it would be. 

His hands traveled through Shiro's hair now, nails scratching at his scalp and fingers tangling in the longer strands. He was half aware as Lance leaned to turn his music back on, one hand still running through Shiro’s hair and the other going back to turn through his notes.

Shiro hadn’t notice that Lance paused his music, the slow instrumental filling the room now that he pulled his headphones out. Lance always had it playing, every moment of the day. He was a child of the art, his mother loving to sing and his father playing any instrument he could get his hands on. Lance's family was known for it, yet he was the only one that didn't follow that path, instead going along with the nursing program.

That had Shiro raising brows, but there was something that bubbled in his stomach seeing Lance in scrubs. Shiro knew he shouldn't say this, but Lance looked fantastic in them, comfortable but alluring all the same. It was a strange combination.

But Lance said he didn't want to ruin that part of his life, he wanted to keep it fun and something for himself. It was completely reasonable, but everyone pressured him to play at local bars. A voice like his shouldn't go unheard.

And his fingers, they were like magic when handed his guitar, or when he found the lone piano on campus. Shiro loved those times, when they had their Tuesday and Thursday lunch breaks together, sitting down to relax a moment or rush to do homework. Lance usually went over to the piano and Shiro let the sounds fill his body as he read. But he liked watching more, seeing those hands and hearing a faint hum come from Lance as he internally sang the chorus.

But now, despite his humming, Shiro felt something growing low in his stomach. It was heavy and hard. He wished Lance would turn the music off, it drained out his sounds. Shiro wanted to hear more of Lance, what he could do, and not someone else prying in on this moment. He had half a mind to lean over and close his laptop and glancing at the streaming bars of names only made the pocket in his stomach grow heavier. 

Instead Shiro turned his head, closing his eyes tight and decided to feel Lance. It's been a while since Shiro was last able to rest his head on Lance, their schedules were so conflicted now. His hum was a faint rumble that traveled over Shiro’s skin, reaching his arms first and then running down over his shoulders like water. It made him warm and loosened the knot that had been growing.

“Um, so are you going to ask her out,” Lance asked suddenly. His voice was quiet. “I think you two would look good.”

Lance had such a way of bringing up terrible things at the best of times. Shiro huffed, burying his face deeper into the bend of Lance’s leg. Shiro realized how close he was. That must be uncomfortable, but he couldn't get enough strength to pull away from Lance. His body felt like jelly from all the attention. 

Still, the thoughts kept pulling back, so he blurted out whatever came into his head first. He wanted Lance to stop asking. No, he didn't like Allura. She was funny and smart, but he had no attraction to her.

He should have said that instead.

“Lance, she's an alpha, and I'm not really interested in her.” He huffed again, rubbing his forehead across Lance's knee. “And I don't talk to her all the time, I'm doing school work.”

Shiro was so dumb.

“What has her being an alpha got to do with anything?” Lance's hands gripped his hair hard. 

Shiro winched, pulling away from Lance. He knew this was a tough subject, for everyone, and Shiro was so naive about this, because it wasn't part of his direct life. He never put together that the same endotypes could end up together, but then again, why not? 

“Nothing.. I‘m sorry,” Shiro said, tilting his head to the side. He begged Lance to take the act, touch his neck or something to acknowledge his mistake.“I wasn't thinking, just… I don't see myself with her, she's cool, but not for me.”

Lance was only staring at him, harsh line to his mouth. “Don't be a homophobe, Shiro. People with the same endotype can be together. It's like when I dated Keith. There's nothing wrong with it.”

Shiro nodded, still baring his neck to Lance's hands. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have thought that, and said it. I'm being an idiot.”

“Yes, you are,” Lance said, a slight lilt to his voice. He liked being right. Shiro was glad he felt like that, he really was being an idiot. He needed to think more before saying anything.

“And here I thought you were the most open person out of all of us,” Lance went on, little pop in his mouth at the end of his sentence.

“I am! I wasn't trying to say that at all-"

“But you did say it,” Lance cut in. “So off my lap, go do your homework. Enough with your special treatment.” 

He flicked Shiro's ear and bounced his leg, pushing him further away.

Shiro deserved that, but his damn mouth always ran when he didn't need it to. He didn't even think it, it had slipped out, but some part of him knew he had at some point, as a turn of reasoning to make Lance see he didn't like her in that way.

Shiro stared at his homework, there was no way he was going to concentrate on it, seeing Lance upset and mouth thin, so he started doodling. Well, rather he started writing out _‘I'm sorry for being homophobic, I'll be better’_ out over and over across his notebook.

He did this for thirty minutes, covering the page in tiny, neat handwriting. He lost track of how many times he written the words, but his hand was cramping and shaking slightly from the effort. 

This was not the only time Shiro had done this, not the homophobic part, but writing out what he did wrong hundreds of times. His mother used to make him do it, to keep his hand steady, not get sloppy, and keep it all the same. “Practice," she told him, “so you don't pull stupid shit again.” 

He has done it as a kid, when he would have anger problems and get into fights. She would sit him down and have his write out two full pages of what he did wrong, to make him concentrate, and then smack a spoon across the back of his hands when he was done. A reminder, she told him. After his accident too, she did it as a way for him to use his left hand and write again. It wasn't harsh, by any means, but it did feel that way when he was a teenager and felt like his whole world had ended.

Even now, as an adult, she was still smacking him with a spoon and wasn't afraid to run into the street after him. If Shiro did something wrong, he'd usually own up to it now. But she still had him sit down and write for her. The knuckle smacks weren't as painful as when he was a kid, and she gave him a kiss on the head now sometimes. 

It was… grounding, doing this, it forced Shiro to clear his head and concentrate about what he was doing. And it helped a lot, since he put his hand on auto pilot and let his thoughts drift to think why he shouldn't have done that.

He glanced over at Lance, for one moment, seeing his far away look as he read through notes, pencil in his mouth with both his hands preoccupied.

That was one reason he shouldn't have said that out of millions. Because he respected Lance and everything he did.


	2. Nurse Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance get's to show Shiro around the ropes of his class.

It was quiet for a while between the two, both in their own worlds as they worked, when Lance moved, slipping one notebook in his backpack and pulling out another. He never caught a break, always trying to get ahead to have a moment of relief, but then more came along. Shiro felt his heart ache seeing how tired he was then.

Shiro always tried his best to help Lance, they all did, but they all had their own work to do as well. But Shiro always found time to run flashcards with Lance, or flip through a book when he was panicked over an online exam.

“Hey, uh,” Lance said suddenly. He moved closer to the side of the bed Shiro was at. “Can I practice some stuff on you?”

Lance stuttered when Shiro turned, catching his raised brow. “I, uh, my nursing stuff. Can I do a physica-, _routine_ check up… on you? To practice for my exam next week.” Lance grabbed his backpack, pulling out this things from it. “If you're okay with it… but I can just ask Keith later if not.”

Shiro swallowed. He has seen Lance do this before with Matt, and they all pitched in to help Lance flag down people to practice getting heart rates and blood pressure for class. 

He remembered Lance's hands having been on the beta’s neck, saying he was palpating the area, looking for anything out of the ordinary around his glands. At that time it had Shiro's mouth going dry, and now he felt his breathing stop completely for a moment.

Shiro realized he had been silent for way too long, leaving Lance out there in the awkward silence between them.

Lance was putting himself out in the open, because Shiro was an alpha, and naturally protective of his space. But if there was any indication from the scene they had earlier, Shiro had no care in the world where Lance put his hands, as long as they were on him.

He mentally checked off that Lance should never be his nurse. He would be breaking something every chance to see Lance. Shiro knew the late hours they had, and already, the further Lance got into his field, the less they all saw him.

He nodded slowly. Lance wouldn't push him do anything uncomfortable, he was trained for it. But, Shiro's heart was beating like crazy every time, it's why he made himself scarce when Lance asked to check their heart rates one night, having them all corralled together. Everyone groaned, but then the shoving began to be first and help their friend. Of course Keith was first, but Shiro was no way able to handle this and snuck off the the bathroom for a few minutes, then hovered in Lance's kitchen to freak out some more.

Lance had found Shiro stuffing his face with some of the cookies he had hoarded in the pantry and raised a brow at him. He didn't push it when Shiro gave a lame excuse about being nervous with this kind of stuff. Actually, he was a bit, after going through therapy and trying to relearn a lot of basics.

But Lance doing it made him feel solid. He was gentle and considerate in a way that had Shiro's heart calming for a few moment listening to him talk. And the way he never hesitated to look at Shiro, eyes never drifting. It made him feel all that more human and in love. 

But now, Shiro was cornered and the only one Lance could ask. There was no way he was going to decline, but there goes his heart, speeding up again.

“I only really need to do some of the big movements,” Lance clarified. “To make sure I'm not going too far on exam day.”

Shiro needed to stop being so damn sensitive and let Lance practice for class. He was probably one of the only alphas Lance could trust and do this with, without being snapped at or ridiculed for being an omega in the field. Lance needed to know everything, and he has gone through more schooling about how to handle endotypes than Shiro had experiences.

Plus, it shouldn't be such a big problem. Lance was doing the same thing he had done to Matt. There was nothing that should be awkward. And it was like a regular check up, normal, easy.

It was ridiculous, how his brain kept circling and tripping over himself around Lance. It was pathetic really.

Shiro nodded again. Everyone went through this, so he had nothing to worry about, and Lance has done this many times before with others. 

But as Lance dug out a pair of gloves Shiro swore he could hear his heartbeat. The spike of panic was obvious.

This was getting in too deep.

Lance stood up, coming over to pick up Shiro and move him to the bed, so they were somewhat level. His chest felt like breaking apart from how Lance touched him, light and gentle as his elbow, and that smell coming close, heavy, lingering. It dripped onto his skin and soaked into his body.

“Ready,” Lance smiled at him.

Not at all, but he had no reason to be nervous. Lance didn't have his stethoscope out, but it still felt as if he could hear Shiro's heart.

He nodded, giving a small little thumbs up. Shiro hasn't trusted his voice for the past year, and this was no exception.

“Alright, this is only a physical examination, Mr. Shirogane,” Lance smiled. “I'll be checking only what I can see, but that includes your face, eyes, hair, mouth, throat, nails, skin, motor functions, possibly spots on your abdomen, if you want me to. I'll be looking for any marks, cuts, lacerations, lumps, discoloration, rashes, infections, should I go on?” 

Shiro balked, shaking his head. That was a list, but if it came to it, Shiro would tell Lance to stop. There was always that option, and he had said so. And besides, he was helping Lance with his studies.

“Okay,” Lance said. He had a scary twinkle in his eye. “I'll be looking at your face first, checking your skin for any odd bruising, marks, or scrapes.” 

His eyes roamed over Shiro for only a moment, but he felt trapped between glass, like a marvel Lance was analyzing.

“Your skin is normal, a healthy shade, scar perfectly healed.” Shiro stared up at him, letting his own eyes roam over Lance's collection of freckles on his cheeks and nose. 

“I'll look at your eyes now.” Shiro held his breath, watching Lance head on as his gaze shifted. “No bumps, ulcers, cuts, or discoloration. You still have your pretty grey irises.”

Lance smiled at him and Shiro's heart skipped a bit. Lance likes his eyes!

“Next, if you could close your eyes now, please, I'll be looking at your eyelashes.” Shiro hummed, he felt like Lance was going over every inch of him.

“Everything's normal, none are broken or missing, nothing out of place.” Lance voice was soft, smooth as it washed over Shiro. He opened his eyes and saw Lance's smile, bright, beaming, happy to be doing this.

Shiro breathed, relishing the attention, and the sweet smell burned his eyes a bit. His gut clenched. Lance was way too close to him.

“Now, your hair. It looks healthy, clean, no dandruff or excess fall out. And your ears. No cuts or discoloration of your skin, no blood, no visual lumps.”

This was too much, and with lance hovering, leaning this way and that, it had Shiro aching. Only breathing him in was not enough, but also too much at the same time. His scent left Shiro's stomach turning over, but his skin itched for contact, if only a little.

“You can touch me,” Shiro said. “You know that, right?”

Lance paused and blinked at him for a moment. “I do, but that's because I know you, Shiro. Not many other people like to be touched by a stranger, and they want this to be over as quick and painless as possible, with no awkwardness.”

“Well, I find it weird with you hovering around me,” Shiro said.

“Okay then,” Lance said. “Is it okay if I touch you while checking your mouth?”

Shiro started, eyes widening at the question. Maybe he asked at the wrong time.

“Like… how,” Shiro asked.

Lance rolled his eyes, sighing loud. But he grinned when Shiro rose an eyebrow at him.

“I hope you don't get as sassy with your patients as you do with me,” Shiro mused.

“Nope,” Lance laughed. “Never, you're the only one to get this special treatment.”

“Thanks.” But Shiro couldn't help smiling at the idea. Yeah, not the best idea for Lance to be his nurse at any point.

“Okay, I'll have you smile for me first,” Lance said, doing the same as Shiro.

He tried not to laugh, but then Lance leaned in a bit, smile still wide on his face. Shiro snorted and tilted his head back, laugh booming through the room.

“What are you doing,” Shiro asked when he had finally settled his fit.

“It's to help me remember what you're doing,” Lance said, looking innocent and irritated as ever. “Because do you want to pass out on me when having to do some breaths later, do you?”

“What? That happens? People pass out during exams?” Shiro's head was reeling. He might actually pass out now from the sweet scent flooding his body.

“Yup,” Lance said. “More than you think too. But doing it with you, one, it's less awkward, and two, some people take it literally and don't breathe until they're told to.”

Shiro laughed again, getting a small smile from Lance in return. He was amused, but also looked exhausted, probably from all his studying these past few days.

He choked down his fit. Lance needed some sleep, and Shiro didn't want to keep him long. So he smiled again, wide like how Lance told him too.

“Good,” Lance said. “Your teeth are straight, none missing in the front, and your canines are a good size.”

Shiro's heart stumbled over himself. Lance was looking at his canines, and it had his body growing warm.

This wasn't how it was supposed to be. Shiro had these checkups before, but his head was buzzed and trained on every movement Lance made. He followed how Lance shifted his weight, how it stirred up the air and his scent, new little wafts that moved and swirled around Shiro. He tried hard not to scent, but Lance was impossibly intrusive.

“Now, this is where I'll have to touch you,” Lance said. “Only if you're okay with that. I'm going to have your check gums more, but after that I'll have you open your mouth so I can check the back of your throat and tonsils. I'll also touch the back of your canines to check for any inflammation and scarring, and make sure you're responsive there.” 

Shiro was staring at Lance's chest, head buzzing with all the information. It was making him shiver, wondering what Lance's fingers would feel like there.

“Okay, take your bottom lip and pull it down,” Lance said. Shiro did as he was told, spine alight as they slowly worked their way towards that one thing.

“Now the top lip, pull it up.” Shiro did the motion again, closing his eyes to the onslaught that was Lance. He couldn't take the way Lance was completely drinking him in, as if trying to decide if Shiro was enough of an alpha. Shiro felt on display and open.

“Alright, everything looks good, no inflamed gums or build up on your teeth. Now, if you could open your mouth, please, I'll be checking your tongue first.” 

Shiro did everything Lance asked, lifting his tongue, letting Lance look into the back of his throat. He snapped his mouth shut once, when one of Lance's hands had come up to touch his chin and tip his head back more. It startled him, the sudden touch when Lance had put all his attention in Shiro's mouth. 

“Sorry,” Lance exclaimed. But Shiro shook his head, trying to give him a small reassuring smile. Lance watched him a moment. “You got… kind of lost there, you okay?”

“Yeah.” Shiro's voice betrayed him, croaking and rough. “You just startled me.”

There was a pause between them, while Shiro was trying to collect his thoughts. He felt heavy all over, _aching_.

“I read something about that,” Lance admitted.

Shiro tried to keep the blush from spreading over his face. How much did Lance read about all this?

“I'll have to change my approach on it then, maybe cycle through it faster.” Lance sighed, thinking for a moment. “Are you okay to go on? If not, we can stop for today.”

“No, no,” Shiro said. “Keep going, you need to practice.”

“Thank you, Shiro." His voice was small, almost distant as he thought. Lance's eyes met Shiro's gaze for a moment longer before moving on.

“Alright, last thing I'll have you do with your mouth is check your canines.”

Shiro swallowed hard seeing Lance's hands come up again. This was it, this was the moment where Shiro's brains would melt into his feet.

“Open, please,” Lance said. Shiro felt his heart beating as he did, looking up for any kind of reassurance from Lance.

All he got was a small, warm smile, and Shiro huffed, suddenly aware of how Lance could feel the wet heat of his mouth as he breathed. But also, Shiro could smell him. Clear and harsh, filling his pores with Lance's wrists exposed to his face. His jaw dropped, almost instinctually, ready for Lance to trace his teeth, feel up the size of them and rub the gums along them.

That's exactly what he did.

Lance's fingers pressed in one slow motion behind his teeth, feeling the length of them, then the width, slow circles along his gums to check for anything. Shiro slipped his eyes closed, losing himself in the movement. 

It felt _so good_. Little tendrils of heat curling down the back of his neck and over his chest. He struggled not to groan, breathing in to collect himself somewhat off the floor.

But then Lance was impossibly closer, moving his hands and pressing his thumbs into the front of his canines, and did the slow, mind numbing circles again.

Shiro felt a shudder go through him, jaw lax as Lance memorized the shape of his teeth. He hoped the omega was, noticing the size of his teeth, taking that into consideration.

Shiro breathed in, and snapped his eyes open, realizing he had let his scent grow strong, a relaxed, heaviness that filled his nose, as well as something that stuck to the back of his mouth. Everytime he breathed in, his chest felt like there was something hollow there, rattling, needing to be filled. And the rest of his body, well, he was on fire.

There was that sweetness.

Lance was trying to settle him with his scent. It was a heavy taste that clung to the back of his throat.

But Shiro was only finally able to gain back some self control when Lance's hands moved away, when his whole body shifted away.

Lance pulled back entirely, removing his gloves immediately, throwing those away and getting a new pair. Shiro could almost feel Lance breathe deep for a moment. It tore through his own body, having an omega so close, having touched Shiro in a way. He didn't know how to get them back on track after that. Everything felt too awkward then.

The snap of the elastic when Lance's fingers slipped startled Shiro. That actually worked, clearing his head from the buzz for a moment, and most of the hormones were nearly gone after his concentration was broken. But his gums still burned, the urges to drag his teeth on something or bite, gnaw and nibble, were all going through his head.

He wanted to whine, seeing Lance turn back to him. Lance almost hesitated, looked at Shiro for a moment before moving close again.

It was strange, seeing Lance having to take a moment. Shiro's head dropped. It was probably all because of him, because he couldn't get himself under control around Lance. He shouldn't have agreed to this. Or at least said no to letting Lance touch there.

“Okay, I'm going to palpate and check for any oddities on your primary glands,” Lance said. His hands came up, asking for permission, palms up and wrists showing. Innocent, open to the alpha, making sure Lance had his trust.

“It's alright, Mr. Shirogane,” Lance went on, slight lilt to his voice. Playful, in a way. “I've done this many times before, but if you do anything to make _me_ uncomfortable, I'll have you thrown out.”

Shiro’s heart hammered in his chest. What was Lance doing? This was way too much. He wouldn't be able to control himself with all the prodding, and the way Lance was almost toying with him had his body shuddering.

“Can we,” Shiro coughed, trying to settle himself. “Can we skip that one?”

“Yes, of course." There was no hesitation in Lance's voice, no irritation or anger, and he dropped the teasing tone so easily. “We can skip whatever you want, I just have to go through the motions.”

Shiro nodded, catching Lance's eyes. He smiled down at Shiro before moving on. For a moment he was going through a few steps mentally, checking them off like on his paper. Shiro smiled at that, how Lance's brain was working as he stood there.

But Lance had been thinking about where he would touch Shiro, how much pressure to use and what areas to rub. Shiro shuddered all over when he wasn't looking.

While Lance was turned away, Shiro breathed again. Something was off, now that Lance's soothing scent was gone. It was different, sweet to the point of distracting.

“Okay,” Lance spoke up. “The last thing I'm going to do today is check your eye movement.” 

“Now.” He held up his finger, right in front of his chest. “If you could keep your head still for me and follow my finger with only your eyes. I'll be looking at your well… the movement and responses in your eyes. I'll have to fix that later, damn.” 

Lance smiled to himself as he lifted his hand away from his chest and up into the air. Shiro followed, and then back towards Lance's chest. Shiro glanced up at his face, before following to the side this time. It was a little too far.

“Lance, I think you're extending too much.”

“Oh, sorry. I am.” His hand came back in to his chest. Shiro looked up at his face again, meeting his warm eyes and small smile. “Let me do that one again, and don't look up at me, you're supposed to be following my _finger_.”

“It's kind of hard when you extend your arm too far,” Shiro muttered.

Lance switched his finger as it moved, flipping Shiro off as it came back to his chest.

“Can you see it now?”

“Yes,” Shiro laughed. “Perfect!”

“Okay,” Lance grinned, keeping that middle finger out for a moment longer before he gave up and switched. He moved it to the lower corner, Shiro following it easily to his chest again.

“Alright, now the other side,” Lance went on “I'm going to switch hands, but keep your head still.”

“I am, though,” Shiro said. 

“No you're not,” Lance huffed, already moving his arm. “You squirm like no one else in the world.”

There was a reason for that, and Shiro didn't want to say why. Lance was difficult to be around, mostly because right now, his smell was everywhere and filling Shiro's lungs. It hurt, sending an all too familiar ache through him. His eyes lidded realizing what it was and Lance's hand paused halfway in his movement.

“You okay, Shiro?” 

He breathed in again, deep, obvious, letting it circulate through his lungs for a moment. It collected, enough to where his skepticism turned true.

It was a heat scent. Faint but there all the same. Shiro breathed in again, letting it reach every part of his body this time, and let it coax a small fire low in his body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and don't hesitate to leave comments, I love the input!


	3. A Rude Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro has a lot of thoughts about Lance and their relationship, or rather, their lack of a romantical relationship and their _a bit too personal_ friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, Shiro gets a little friendly with himself in this update ;)

He looked up at Lance, but flicked his eyes away as soon as he did, heat spreading up his cheeks. 

“Are,” Shiro coughed. The smell was already getting to him, it coated his lungs and made it hard to breathe.

“I think you're going in, Lance,” he tried again.

Lance stood there a moment, not registering what was said, before snapping his hands back and stepped away. 

Shiro looked up at him, seeing the heavy tint of color to his face and downcast gaze of his eyes.

“Oh! Uhm, yeah,” he confessed. “I was supposed to go in tomorrow, but I guess it came along early. I should head home then. Sorry, Shiro, I hadn't felt it come on.”

He what? 

That was weird to say, but he had only started noticing the smell… maybe. Shiro actually wasn't sure. Luckily it wasn't heavy yet, but there still is that spike in sweetness. Lance needed to go home.

Shiro watched Lance gather his things, a little hastily, and shoved it into his bag. His eyes stared at the floor as Lance moved around him, and swallowed hard, trying to keep down everything, but he could taste it. Shiro swallowed again, greedily, letting his body be filled with the heat that boiled under his skin.

This was intoxicating. His head tilted back and mouth parted to _breathe_. At this point he didn't care, not about how Lance saw him or what he would think. Lance was perfect and beautiful in every way, and Shiro couldn't let the moment pass. This was the first time in a while Shiro had been able to scent him like this without looking like a total creep. That scent fucked him over so hard.

Shiro shook his head, trying to keep his breathing short. This was inappropriate! He couldn't take advantage like that.

He jumped, feeling Lance brush up passed him to gather his notes. His skin was too hot, almost feverish. How far along was he actually? Was Lance lying? Shiro shouldn't be falling into his pit of obliviousness quite yet, not if Lance had only started today. But the whole day Lance had been giving off tons of smells, so Shiro's head was already wrung out. Maybe he was misinterpreting it, his anxiousness of the situation getting to him.

Still, he should be scolding himself anyway. What kind of friend was he, so willing to disregard how Lance felt? Or the fact that Lance may not even like him that way? He should be taking care of Lance and not let his nature take over.

Lance was already moving on before Shiro could say anything. He growled low to himself. Shiro was being an idiot, again. It was always around these times too, right when Lance started showing any signs of his heat. Shiro knew he was addicted, too willing to be around him in such a way.

They never talked before, about any of it, but he desperately wished they did.

He wanted more than this. It felt like a downright game, but one that Lance didn't mean to play. It was his smell that made Shiro like this, but then again, every waking moment he spent with Lance had his heart hammering in his chest. Yeah, he had a crush, and it was biting and relentless. It never failed to make itself known.

He tailed the omega back through his living room as they gathered up his things, not finding the will to give him space. There was that nagging need in the back of his head, telling Shiro to make him stay. His body _needed_ Lance. Of course he shook that off, it was his body begging for it after all, but he couldn't help the little bubble of happiness in his chest seeing Lance smile and move about his place. He wanted to see Lance here more often, wanted him in Shiro's life with such a domestic setting. Lance was here so often anyway, but Shiro couldn't help wanting a little more.

Lance turned right into his chest after finding and struggling into his jacket, reaching for a hug goodbye. That did nothing to help keep Shiro's mind calm and body from shaking. Lance was so warm pressed up against his side. He grinned into the hug. What a drugged up man he was.

“I’ll see you next week for our usual, right,” Lance asked. “You still have to help me out with some stuff before my exam. You can't wheedle your way out of it anymore.”

Shiro was staring, trying to keep from swallowing too hard. If only Lance could stay, and if only Shiro wasn't so damn nervous to talk to him. Then maybe Lance would have considered it, if he knew what Shiro’s feelings were.

“Yeah, sure,” Shiro wheezed. “You'll be okay driving home?”

Lance huffed, but gave him a small smirk. “Of course, I've done it many times before. See you Tuesday, Takashi.”

Shiro remained close though. He felt warmth spread through him thinking about all the past times Lance went into heat. That faint smell came to the front if his memory, sweet and lingering on his skin like that first night they met.

Lance opened the door only to pause a second after. 

“Oh! Don’t forget to study for your physics exam next Thursday, just because I won’t be there to help doesn’t mean you can avoid it,” Lance chirped.

Shiro smiled watching Lance chatter, hovering at the door. Shiro's whole body felt warm now, both in desperation but also with fondness.

“Lance…” 

“And your mom’s visit,” Lance went on. “You still haven’t told me the day she’s coming, I have some stuff I brought back from home that she’ll like.. I hope… maybe, but-”

“Lance!” 

Shiro went on to laugh, but paused. Lance had jumped at the sound of Shiro's loud voice, and he panicked a moment. It was meant to be playful, that's all it was. But Shiro must have let his voice slip to be a little too rough, a little too impatient. Everything felt thirty times heavier with the way Lance looked up at him. The hallway and room around them had gone still, the sounds of cars outside had become distant, down to a low hum of white noise. Lance barely breathed against him, not so much as a release of breath on Shiro’s face.

Shiro didn’t mean to do that! It was all in fun, until he screwed up as usual.

Lance pausing in his doorway made it harder for Shiro to detach himself from that smell.

He shouldn't have distracted Lance. Now they were both on edge, pent up and shaking from the heaviness of Shiro's request.

Shiro wanted to kick himself in the ass. He wasn't supposed to have Lance's attention, he was supposed to be leaving, going home where he could rest and be safe. Away from Shiro and his conflicted body.

Because as much as Shiro wanted to keep their friendship and routine, he wanted a little bit more. He wanted to be intimate and loving towards this man. Shiro hated how he spent so much thinking of his friend in such a fond way, and then other times with Lance's sounds filling the room. It was unhealthy.

Shiro paused. He wanted desperately to reach out and touch any part of Lance, to comfort him in some way. But he also knew it was Lance's smell that had started this in the first place. It was _Lance_. Everything was _Lance_. It was so hard to concentrate, staring down at Lance's hand that was so close to his own. _If he only reached out…_

But he held back. He didn't want to do this to Lance, no matter how badly he wanted to be wrapped up in Lance's scent and taste, he couldn't bring himself to ruin what they had. He didn't want Lance to regret anything.

Lance needed to go home.

He touched Lance's hand, hesitantly, letting his fingers run over his knuckles in a _reassuring_ way, nothing else. That simple, little touch, send electricity up his spine.

“Hey, you need to get going, okay? Tell me when you get home safe,” Shiro mumbling.

That took everything from him to say, but he couldn't help the smile that spread over his lips. Lance was a talker, and there was no way Shiro would ever make him stop if he had the chance. At the same time though, Shiro's body strained to drop his hand away, energy seeping away when Lance gave a little smile.

“Alright,” Lance mussed, turning to leave and giving a little half wave back to Shiro. “I'll see you next week.”

Shiro watched his back for a moment, a slow hurt building in his chest.

This ache has only ever happened with Lance. Every time it was like agony watching him walk away down the hall and disappear into the stairwell. It was like losing his skin, his nerve, his blood. Everything that made him alive was gone at once.

Lance always, _always_ , pulled that shit with him! Waiting until the last moment to leave, right when Shiro could feel the dampness on Lance’s skin from his heat flashes. He was worried about Lance every time when he left the apartment. The walk to his car was short, but still, Lance was reckless and displayed his heats openly when they start. The first time it happened, Lance had stayed late, the two of them being lazy and avoiding work as they laid on the couch watching movies. Shiro tore out the room when he realized what the scent was, and Lance's exasperated anger made it worse, heightened it if only enough to drive Shiro out of the room completely. But how was Lance supposed to take that? Shiro has never been around an omega going into heat, and in such a domestic setting, too. So there was no reason for Lance to get offended by him using the couch as a barrier to keep away. 

And the walk to Lance's car had been _the worst_. He tried to suck in the dry air, to clear his head, but it _burned_. His throats constricted around the taste, mouth falling open to swallow more. Taste more. Not only was he tempted to have Lance then and there in the backseat, but it was harder to wrench himself away from the parking lot and not end up whimpering alone in the dark. Shiro always felt so pathetic when he couldn't help his friend, and also the way he pined after him. He felt like a stupid teenager.

Shiro remembered some times when he was visiting Lance and that happened. He had to break himself away, hand clutching the steering wheel as he drove home in a daze with that scent lingering on him.

And then, once Lance was in heat, they all took turns checking on him. Of course Keith was with him the first time, he didn't trust Shiro alone with Lance. That was okay though, Shiro didn't trust himself either, despite it being later in Lance's cycle.

They did the same with Keith, but Shiro didn't dare step into his apartment. Keith automatically hissed and threw a fit when he smelled the alpha. He wasn't upset at Shiro, but his body hated him, so Shiro knew to wait at the door while one of the others checked on him. He had no idea why he was there in the first place, but then realized he was only ever with Matt during these times, and he tended to hover around Keith. Matt practically busted open the door and let out a loud, excited call each time. It was embarrassing to have to wait in the hallway after that. Usually the neighbors came and peeked out their doors at Shiro and gave him looks.

But… the first time he heard Lance, that little coo of greeting, had stilled him immediately. He couldn't do this. Shiro stayed rooted to the spot in the living room, staring at all of Lance's photos and gazing about his house like it was the first time there, because the scent that filled the home made his head shift to something he hated. He felt so intrusive, his own scent too heavy when mingling with Lance's.

Shiro had to step out, and that's where Keith found him, face buried in the crook of his arm as he sat on the patio table, trying to snuff out that gorgeous, intimate smell. Keith had stared at him a moment, soft for the first time ever and told him to follow, said they needed to get Lance some more water bottles. That was the easiest for Lance, he could measure those out during his day, something Keith taught him to do.

So they went and picked up another two pack of bottles. Shiro felt strange, waiting outside Lance's door while Keith gave his greeting call again. And then he nearly dropped everything hearing Lance's response so close by. He had been sitting there, watching them from the living room couch in a loose shirt and shorts, smile greeting the two. Shiro's heart had dropped to his stomach and burst out his chest in the same moment.

Lance laughed and waved at Shiro, seeing how he practically ran past once picking himself back up off the ground. To keep from making a fool of himself further, Shiro held his breath the whole way. But as soon as he got anywhere near Lance's room to help out the cases, Lance was there, eyes narrowed as he pushed Shiro back further in the house. 

Okay, the thing was Lance was downright terrifying when protecting his nest. He pinned Shiro in a corner in seconds, unyielding and deep tenor of a growl rising his his throat. Keith had come up and cooed to him, drawing Lance out of that mindspace so easily. Keith nuzzled the side of Lance's face, getting his attention almost immediately. He was apologizing, with such an intimate gesture, soft sounds between them before Lance moved back into his room, firmly shutting the door behind himself. The scene did something terrible to Shiro's heart and that was when he realized how jealous he actually was. He never felt something so heavy and vile before. Shiro never wanted to feel it again, and blamed it on all the hormones around them.

Keith laughed at Shiro, who was still pressed up against the far wall of the hallway. Yeah, they wouldn't need to worry about Shiro getting into Lance's head. But… that made Shiro ache so much more. Lance had pushed him off so easily, as if he was some random person prying into his personal space. 

Shiro knew he was only a friend, and that was it, but he felt an ache for days after, and it never went away. He still remembers how easily Lance squared up against him. Shiro knew omegas were easier during their heats around their mates or would-be partners, but that showed what Shiro meant to him. A friend, nothing more, but also an alpha who hadn't been put in their place yet. Someone Lance had to watch out for before their friendship furthered.

He at least wanted to help Lance in some way, but he couldn't even bring him water without his head become muddled and impossibly full of lewd ideas. And Lance's heat understood that. It was so easy for Shiro to be pushed away.

Shiro sighed to himself.

It wasn't until they left that day when Shiro finally took a deep lung full of air. It cleared out a lot of what swirled and confused his body. There was no point in hiding his raging hard on though, it was clear, but Shiro still wasn't proud of it. He let Keith drive, picking up his leg to rest his chin on and to keep Keith from looking at him. It was unbelievably embarrassing about how such a pissed omega had turned him on so much. Shiro blamed it on his smell. It felt heavy and warm in his stomach, having cycled through his lungs for hours.

So now he had Lance call him if his heat was too far along, talking over the phone until Lance was safe inside his vehicle with the doors locked.

And there he was!

Shiro smiled seeing Lance’s image flash across his screen, the trademark wink and smile of his icon making Shiro's heart flip in his chest. It was one of his favorite images of Lance, originally the two of them, but Shiro had done his best to crop himself out. He looked rough that day and didn't compare to how brilliant Lance was beaming.

 _“Takashi, uh, hi.”_

Was Lance being shy?

Shiro chuckled to himself. It was cute “Yeah, so my mom is coming on the 24th.”

 _“What? Oh.. right. What time?”_

“She hasn’t told me what time her flight would leave, but I think around noon like last time.”

 _“Hmm, sounds suspicious. Must have some plans then.”_ He could hear the smile in Lance’s voice. He must have that Cheshire grin again. 

“I don’t know, maybe.”

 _“Fuckin- Shiro, of course she does, it’s your birthday weekend afterall! How could she not have anything planned? It’s her big boy’s special day,”_ Lance laughed. Oh, it was always so lovely, the breathy sound making Shiro's toes curl in their socks and palms sweaty. 

_"I can think of a few good things to get you.”_

_Same here._ Shiro hummed as he set about picking up his apartment from their study session, heading into the kitchen in an attempt to clean up the mess of their snack breaks. Popcorn actually was really hard to clean up when it was launched across the room.

It was hard to think as he cleaned up, his mind kept wandering back to that first night as Lance talked. What would it have been like if he did have Lance then? He's sure Lance would have pushed him away, but Shiro could dream. It was hard to stop himself from thinking of what they could have done, Lance's adorable drunken laugh filling the room. He could have scented Lance so long ago, felt him move against Shiro's body and legs around his waist.

And he shuddered when opening the door to his bedroom.

The smell that flooded from it had every nerve in his body alight within moments. How had he not noticed this? Lance's heat smell was faint mixing in with the soothing musk he had released earlier, but it still managed to stick on Shiro’s skin and his lungs filled with it, running down his throat thick and sweet like syrup.

Shiro loved it. He stood there and let it collect on his skin and clothes, sticking to him so easily as he moved closer to the bed.

He shouldn't be doing this, especially when Lance was talking about decorations and food into his ear. So he covered up his phone, listened to Lance's voice as he scented the sheets where Lance had been laying all evening.

Shiro groaned deep after breathing it in. 

Even though the scent was faint, Shiro could feel all the heat in his body shift, from something protective to desperate, till he was whining and grinding down against the edge of the bed, desperate to cover his cock and body in Lance's smell.

That heat was setting in hard again, curling its fingers into his flesh and digging deep.

What he wouldn't give to have Lance's scent on him like that after knotting.

Shiro shouldn't be doing this, not to Lance. He didn't need some perv after him like this. What would Lance do, seeing him like this? If Lance ever caught him doing this, that would be it for their friendship.

But… he couldn't help thinking about this. Shiro needed to get his thoughts in order, but what was the point, it was an endless, brutal cycle. He was tired of it all.

He'd love to have that little omega clean him off with his pretty mouth, being able to scent Shiro's musk mixed with his own, content knowing Shiro had been claimed, too.

Shiro huffed, begging his hips to still for once and his head to stop straying. A shiver went through him at the effort, cock straining against the bed. Lance's scent was fading because of his own musk. Shiro hated how strong his scent could get. Yet another thing his alpha dynamic ruined. 

Shiro sometimes wished he'd been born a beta. So simple when it came to heats or ruts, he would actually be aware of what's happening, not this endless falling into a pit of blind desperation. Plus scents wouldn't be such a problem. But then again, would he be able to smell Lance like this? He didn't want to lose that.

He peered out the window, trying to peek around the corner to see if he could see Lance walking towards the parking lot. It was snowy, so it should be easier to see Lance. Ah, how wonderful that only a silhouette got his heart aching this bad, his heart skyrocketed the second he saw him.

_“Dang it!”_

“What? Forgot your car keys again?”

_“No.. I have your sweatshirt on still, I forgot t-”_

“Keep it,” Shiro said. His voice sounded calm but his nerves were sending his heart into a panic. Was that too much?

_“...Are you sure? It’s the blue one.”_

“Yeah I’m sure, I know how much you like that one.” Lance had been wearing it all day.

 _“Okay...thanks. Well I’m in my car.”_ There was the sudden rapid click of his lock being pressed hundreds of times. _“Hope you heard that!”_

“Ha ha, I did Lance.” He paused, taking in the sounds of Lance shivering, teeth clacking together, then his car stuttering to turn on. The heat could be heard on full blast seconds later. “Okay, you know what to do, te-”

 _“Text you when I get home, I know!”_ Lance was practically laughing over Shiro's exasperated huff. “Good night, Shiro.” 

He cut the line short, before Shiro could get a single word out. The reply hung there, so simple and easy as all the other late good night's had been. But Shiro ached to say other things, he wanted so desperately to add more words to the end of that phrase.

Shiro sighed. Lance would be gone for several days with not so much as a text. That was the drill after all.

Oh yeah. He had to tell the group. There were no secrets between them. None at all, and it's embarrassing when they give Shiro little glances after Lance did something spectacular… which was every moment. Even Pidge does it, but there's a little more flare to her looks and a lot of grinning.

He scrolled through his messages and opened up the code blue group chat, typing out a quick response: _Lance started his cycle again. He just left my place and should be at home in 20 minutes._

Hunk was the first response. Coming in like the true parent he was, not even a minute after: _He seems a bit early but thanks for the heads up!_

The Moody, pyromaniac was next: _I'll check on him tomorrow morning ;) I've got first round._

_M:No I will !! You got to last time and besides, me and Hunk baked some stuff for him!_

_H:Matt you are not going to get in a garlic knot eating contest with him, I'll take it to him tomorrow and I'm going to ask him what's going on._

_K: I wonder if he's off his birth control, his cycle pattern is shorter than usual._

_M: Aww no fair!_

_H: Maybe, it's at what ?? A two month pattern now?_

_K: Yeah, three months is normal for him, but I bet he's off._

Shiro dropped his phone down on the bed, listening to the buzz as the others talked among themselves. He stared up at the ceiling, running the information through his head.

Lance was early? He never noticed that, but then again everything with Lance kind of melded together in one ball of fiery need for him. Shiro has never heard of omegas cycles changing so drastically. But then again, he didn't know much in general. He did know that the foreign chemicals caused their hormones to become irregular, so their smell wasn't as intoxicating. It was like a barrier for unwanted attention.

Shiro wondered if that was true because Lance was unbelievably irresistible lately. Then again, he always has been. The more he thought about it, the more his hands itched. Shiro wanted to know, but he wasn't about to go digging into Lance's personal space any time soon. And… what if that was true?

Shiro groaned thinking about that. Lance with a kid? Ha! There was no way they could handle that now.

But Shiro couldn't help picking at his sheets. That would be lovely, seeing Lance nuzzled up with his child, unbelievably tired but content and warm in a cluttered house that needed a little order. Of course there would br plants. Lance would have a whole greenhouse in his living room with sunlight filling every corner. Lance looked gorgeous in the sun.

He laughed at the ridiculous notion. Lance was the furthest one in their group to settling down. He wasn't that type of person, not yet. He might actually not even want that, and he has never given any indication about what he wanted for that part of his future. Shiro didn't even know if Lance _liked_ kids. He felt so empty and cold in that moment, nothing but blankets wrapped around him and his own thoughts.

Those twenty minutes waiting for Lance's reply was the most grueling experience of his life.

Shiro fumbled and struggled to opened the messages as soon as his phone chimed. The first being a picture of Lance’s lovely cat, all legs like their owner, collar and bell around their neck as they looked to be mid rub on Lance’s hand. Under it: Blue says good night! And then a single blue heart.

Shiro’s own heart gave another pitiful twinge of pain as he smiled at the image. He loved that cat. So gentle and loving, giving out loud purrs to anyone that provided attention.

He typed out a quick message of his own, about to roll back over and try to sleep off the heat coursing through his body when his phone went off again.

Shiro blinked, trying to figure out what the image was for a moment, his sleepy eyes and troubled head not helping to decipher the photo. 

He swallowed hard, feeling that heat flare in his face. Shiro sat up to understand what was happening better, as if that would help. There was Lance's face in the photo, wide smile as he lounged on his side. He still wore the sweatshirt, and Shiro let his eyes rove over the jut of his hip peeking out, bare and tilted, at the edge of the picture, a collection of rumpled pillows and blankets around him. Such a deceptively innocent message followed: _goodnight Takashi._

A chuff and whine mixed in his chest. There was no way… Shiro sat back, staring at it, pouring over the details. He has never seen those blankets before, not in all the times he had been to Lance's house. And did he… have nothing else on?

Shiro stared at that sliver of an edge, skin radiant and smooth as always. His hands tightened on the phone. This was bad.

This was so good and so bad. 

Lance shouldn't be doing this! He was supposed to be in bed and resting, and here he was sending pictures to them. 

Shiro paused. He wasn't in the group chat like they usually talked in. Lance's lone name at the top of his messages sent him reeling.

This was terrible! Shiro could feel all that heat he managed to pin down come rising up in full force within moments of his mental wandering.

Lance had never done this before. He had never shared anything so… suggestive and purposeful at any stage. Yeah, he had seen Lance half naked by accident in mirrors, when his clothes were laid out and was asking for help on ideas, but nothing so blatantly obvious before. He was always so private of things like this. 

And then the blankets… was that really part of his nest?

Shiro whined, needy and deep. He had no idea what to do. If this was part of Lance’s nest, and he was more than completely sure, Lance was either pulling out some next level friend stuff, or…

Shiro didn't want his hopes to flare, he didn't want to read too much into this. He has done it before and he won't make the mistake again.

_You two are friends and that's it!_

He couldn’t stop the boiling heat that moved to his cock and chest though. Shiro shook his head, choking down a groan that tried to rip out of his throat. He stared down at the nest, trying to piece together the picture.

Was it really a nest? Lance was still early in his heat, so maybe he was resting before getting the urges to nest. That was it. He must have be gathering things, Lance wasn't actually done with it already. It was too fast.

But Shiro had some doubts in his head. Why would Lance send him this? Was he… finally on that level of familiarity as he was with Keith? That _had_ to be it! 

Shiro's fingers still twitched as he hesitated over the keyboard. Should he do this? He didn't want his heart to be crushed again. It was going to happen and he knew it, like every other time. Lance was opening up to him, but not in the way Shiro hoped.

Quickly he typed out something, sending it to Keith and hoping, maybe, the guy wouldn't read it actually. It was stupid and wishing on a fantasy. 

But Keith did, of course.

 _K: No, he's never sent me images._

_K: Why!?_

_K: Did he send you one ???_

Shiro practically threw his phone across the room, sounds coming up in his throat.

He wasn't quite sure if his body was panicking or really excited. 

Shiro had to get up and breathe, his room smelt too much like Lance. He wandered through his apartment a bit, all too aware of the heaviness between his legs and how his cock pressed against his jeans.

This was not good. What was happening? Why did Lance think _now of all times would be perfect to do that? Why during his heat was he throwing out the ‘I'm single and looking’ card?_

Shiro scratched at his hair, pressing his hips into the couch. This was unbelievable! Why did Lance decide to fuck with him now of all times? Nothing helped calm his mind, except grinding against the edge of the couch. That helped a bit, but now he hurt and could feel the edges of his rut coming on. He felt himself breathing hard, willing to keep his rut down and not let Lance do this to him.

_It meant nothing! Lance was only being his friendly self!_

Shiro shuddered as he humped against the cushions of his couch, cock heavy and pained as his hips lifted up.

His rut latched onto him so easily and drug him under the dark cloak of it, but today was not the best time. He had a test, assignments, and countless other things to worry about. He needed this the roll over like nothing, but that was not going to happen.

_And Lance._

_Lance._

_He was all by himself!_

Shiro groaned deep, feeling heat pulse through him with the need to go visit him, but was trying with all his might to keep from going under. Sweat was beading down his back and along his chest, his breath coming out labored as he kept fucking himself into the groove of the couch cushions.

He didn't remember losing his shirt, but his chest ached, so that was probably why. His nipples always ached to be touched and to rub against things during this.

He didn't remember wandering back into his room, and barely registered picking up his phone and reading the others texts. Keith had told them first. Of course he did. Ever the loud mouth with that man.

_H: Shiro did you go to his house?_

That was the last thing in the chat, nearly ten minutes ago. There was no doubt all of them were panicking since Shiro had yet to reply. 

_S: No!! I wouldn't do that to him!_

_K: Prove it!_

_H: You don't have to, I believe you._

__

Shiro could feel the two mentally fighting one another. They were always like that, but was never anything too serious. Shiro sent an image anyway, of his room and bed. There was no way he was going to send a picture of himself, so all they got was a bit of his shoulder. He wouldn't be too mad, they were worried. But later, Keith was going to hear from him.

__

_S: But he sent me in again, and I think it's going to be bad this time._

__

He must sound ridiculous. An alpha that couldn't control his own body held such a low stigma. He felt so weak in that moment. Shiro should be able to control himself around his friend. 

__

_K: Just take one of your pills ??_

__

Shiro huffed. That was not the best idea. The prescription was strong and lasted him two weeks.

__

_M: I dont think he can double dose guys._

__

_H: They're supposed to help with ruts, just see what the label says._

__

This was why Hunk was the sane one of them all.

__

Shiro rushed to the bathroom, fumbling with his prescriptions and knocking some off the shelves. His heart hammered in his chest as he snatched up the familiar bottle. It was hard to keep still long enough to read the fine print.

__

It said it could with bad ruts, but half a dose. Shiro growled. Of course that would be his luck. He wasn't steady enough to use a knife right now, so he ended up crushing it, not even caring about making it a fine powder to take easier. He picked up a piece and downed it, tasting the bitterness in his mouth immediately. Hopefully this rut burned off the medication, but he didn't doubt it.

__

Shiro tried to breathe, standing there a moment and staring down at himself to wait. He was ridiculously hard, and he felt gross all over. He should eat something, to make sure he wouldn't get nauseous later on. That was not a good mix. Shiro has done that before, when he was younger. His stomach felt flipped and was eating itself as he was going through another wave of his rut. He remembered passing out, and the embarrassment he felt after waking up in a daze and seeing his mom had left him food and water.

__

Never again.

__

His legs shook as he walked, heat moving up along his spine as he went to his kitchen. It took him a moment to make something worth eating, because of course he was picky when rutting.

__

Shiro could feel the heat subsiding as he ate, lazily chewing on some takeout he meant to save as a treat after finishing homework. Why couldn't he be happy with a sandwich and some chips? 

__

After awhile of the silence it became hard to keep his mind from drifting, but Lance was gorgeous, so how could he not. And the way he ached all over, missing the man's company, hurt in a way Shiro never had before. It was like half of himself was gone. His body felt empty, void of any energy to move.

__

It was a strange mix, because while Shiro put a hand on himself, it hurt doing so knowing Lance could do it himself. But it's not like Lance made any move to actually say he wanted to. Shiro wasn't sure about a lot of things. He wasn't even completely sure that was a nest in the picture.

__

Making his way back to his hormone filled bedroom, Shiro picked up every plush object he could find and tossed it onto the bed. For a moment he stared at himself in the mirror leaning next to his closet, hair already a mess and pupils blown from the need of a warm body to push himself against. He could feel the ghost of an ache around where his knot would be, cock raging and pressed against the front of his pants. This was not going to be fun. 

__

He made sure to set an alarm, placing his phone on the table along the far wall. That should wake him up for sure, even if he only got three hours of sleep. He turned on the strand to fairy lights he had along the head of his bed, stretched high over the wall and along the other side of his room. He never felt comfortable touching himself without something, even if it was a faint glow that outlined the pillows and blankets around him. At least it was a warm glow. He needed that, needed everything he had since the gnawing ache set in. He fiddled with the bedding some more, pushing himself down into it to get comfortable, wallowing out a slight curve in the pillows and draped blankets.

__

Lance would be proud, at the way the lighting in the room kept everything soft. He had seen it many times before, but Shiro wanted him to see it now, nestled into the curve of the nest, purring against Shiro. Fuck, Lance would look gorgeous in this light. Shiro had seen it before, but not where they were feeding off each other and mixing sounds together, biting back cries. 

__

Shiro wanted to pin Lance down in his nest, but also, he felt a need to have Lance look over it, to see how he brought in every pillow to make sure it was comfortable and enticing.

__

He grumbling to himself as he stood up, still unsure about the idea as he went to grab his phone, and even when walking those long few feet back to his bed.

__

Shiro paused once settling in his nest again, sighing into the air as he stretched his hand up to take a photo. Making a nest wasn’t uncommon for all endotypes, but much more common for alphas to for someone else. It was for impressions, to show off, and it was either a confidence booster or low blow to the dick when their nest was belittled. 

__

He didn’t think his nests were terrible, but now, Shiro struggled to get the perfect angle. Taking a picture shouldn’t be this difficult, but the sheets were too wrinkled at times and didn’t look soft, or the angle looked weird, of there was too much of Shiro’s dick in the photo. Let’s say, it took way too long for Shiro to get a semi decent image. There was no way he was ever going to show Lance though. Shiro felt his heart twinge at the thought of being turned down. He wouldn’t be able to handle if Lance realized his mistake. It was still going to hurt once he found those messages, but Shro was willing to ignore them for Lance’s own embarrassment.

__

But for now, he was going to do something terrible and run with those thoughts. He let Lance come to the forefront of his mind. The only thing he could do was ride this out and let it happen. His rut wasn’t going to leave any time soon if he resisted. 

__

Shiro pushed his head back into the pillows, letting the heat pull at him a little more. He spread his legs open a bit, panting into the air. It was cool but the blankets warmed his back, sweat already beading his forehead as his rut dig its claws in finally. It helped having thoughts of Lance. His mouth on Shiro, his hands coaxing out the heat and sounds. A soft tongue lapping at his skin, replacing where Shiro rubbed his thumbs into his trembling thighs.

__

He shivered, hips rolling up to meet the cool air. His cock twitched, wanting the touch there, on his slit, smearing the wet mess he was making if himself. A little lick and breath fanning over his length had his mouth parting. Shiro moaned, long and deep. He needed slim fingers, playful and enticing, bringing out his sounds with long strokes and a rough twist of the wrist. Shiro needed some source of warmth to lay over his chest, teeth scraping and little hums of acknowledgments with every cry from Shiro. Most of all he wanted thighs wrapped around his waist and hands leaving little trails of bubbling heat over his skin as nails scratched.

__

Tonight was going to be long, he could feel it, despite how easy his knot wanted to form already, still having yet to be touched. It was because of the air, Lance’s cool scent still lingering on his skin. The turn of his fan chilled him, but it burned with the image of Lance. It was like fucking magic, what a little imagination could do, and Shiro’s lungs were warming up with heavy breaths and fogging his head into a lulled state.

__

He rocked his hips up more insistently, hand coming up to the front of his jeans and rubbing over the length of his cock. Shiro ground his teeth. His cock wasn’t even out yet and he was already whimpering. He didn’t need the touch to be able to get off though. Shiro had ground against enough surfaces to be able to understand how easily it was to cum in his pants. 

__

There was that deeper need though. The urge for something soft, velvety and slick. He thought of the lube and stroker in his drawer and growled. He should have grabbed that earlier, but also, he let a little hesitation crawl over him. Shiro wondered how Lance would tease. Maybe only a fingertip, maybe his mouth, or none at all. Shiro shuddered as the idea of Lance straddling him, rocking his hips in an agonizingly slow motion as he rubbed his slick along the base of Shiro’s cock. His body heat and movements bringing Shiro to the edge fast than anything else.

__

He liked that idea way too much. Lance seemed like the person to hang on the edge of giving absolutely everything. 

__

He wondered how Lance would undress him, if he would be slow and methodical, fingers slow as they worked his jeans down. Or if he would tear at Shiro, grumble and rip Shiro’s shirt off over his head. He wasn’t sure, mostly because he wanted both. An impatient Lance was adorable, trying to fume but his pout made it hard not to smile. He settled on the middle. That was safe and the easiest to see him, with his manipulative tongue and coaxing eyes. Shiro shivered under that gaze. It gave him a chance to collect his thoughts and ease off his pants and shirt. He didn’t need to feel rushed, that would only end in a tattered shirt again. Now Shiro would be able to feel Lance’s nails on his on skin.

__

Shiro frowned at himself. He shouldn’t be thinking this way, but Lance was a driving force, and his only source of steadiness and concentration. If he gave up on that, there was no telling how many pillows he’d rip open this time from biting and marking. As long as he was trying to impress that little part, he could keep a steady head.

__

Somewhat… 

__

It was easy to settle back in after that, mouth open as he stroked himself, pausing between ragged growls and deep moans. It went faster this time, he didn’t want to dwell too long on the biting shame that went through him at the thought of Lance, stretched out and arched in the same way Shiro was then, little moans choked on and muffled into the sheets.

__

Shiro was tearing at his sheets after a while, fucking down into them as he rubbed at his knot, desperate for this to end. He was exhausted, bitter, a little sad at the longing that filled his chest and echoed in his voice, head tilted back as he let his sounds out, let his desperate calls fill the room around him.

__

At least his suppressants helped give him some sense of reality, but he felt a lonely ache too as his body struggled to keep from ripping a hole through the mattress or fucking his cock raw with a pillow. Lance shouldn’t be his only solace for getting through this, but he couldn’t get out of that mindset. He latched onto Lance and pulled that image through every wave. Oh, Shiro wanted to latch onto him in a particular way, too. He arched up, staring at the dimly lit ceiling and milked his knot with everything he had while that storm raged in him.

__

He was so tempted to do so many things. He wanted to send his own images to Lance, wanted to know if Lance really meant everything. So many questions gnawed at him. What did Lance want from this? Why did he always manage to show up at the most unreasonable times? Why was he so blind to Shiro’s unhealthy attachment to him? Shiro whined into the space of his room, hand working over his length in motion with the buzzing of his head. Everything burned, and Shiro felt like shrinking into an ember. He felt so hopeless.

__

Lance was out of it, he was in heat, and that was all. It would be back to how everything was as soon as they cleared this up, or Lance sent an apology text about the picture, little laughing emoji to follow. 

__

And Shiro’s heart will break all over again like it usually did.

__

But there was still that part of him that hoped, well… a big part of himself. He wanted to hear the man confirm what Shiro wanted to hear. He wanted to hear the words come out of that beautiful mouth. Lance would say everything that would make Shiro's heart stop hammering in his chest and take away an sort of doubt he was having. Damn, he was tempted to make the long walk to Lance's house, if only to hear him say the words. But that was stupid, a fenatics wish. Shiro would never put words into Lance’s mouth like that.

__

Plus, Shiro would never shove his way into Lance’s home. What would Lance do other than slam the door in his face seeing a deranged alpha pressed to his doorframe? Lance would never want to talk to him again seeing the heavy look of his eyes and the neediness in his hands.

__

Shiro groaned as he came, feeling that ache in his knot as he gripped tight. All the emotions, the swirling thoughts and doubt burning up in his body and taught on his skin. He felt a bit better despite that conflicting feelings tearing into him. He grabbed one of his abused blankets and wiped himself clean. There was no way he was going to move tonight, and he didn’t trust himself with taking a warm shower at the moment. So he set about trying to keep his thoughts from overtaking him, trying to sleep but recalled some of his more lovely memories with Lance.

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading this story! I didn't expect it to be so long, but I have so much for it. Don't hesitate to leave me comments, I love the input and they're motivating!


	4. A Sickness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's just say, Shiro forgets about a crucial part of his week, as well as devels into some personal learning that may haunt him later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After such a long wait I'm back at it! Thank you all for being so patient!!

Shiro woke up in a cold sweat, bolting up in bed and dragging in as much air as he could, eyes flicking across to the sound that had startled him out of an already hellscape of sounds. It took him a moment, realizing it was just his phone alarm. Right, he had a test today, but he couldn’t get the lingering dream away.

It’s been a while since he had one of those dreams. He shivered, remember the sensation of falling, but also the sounds and the feeling of being trapped in that again, of being helpless in an endless rolling cage. The heat and the sounds, like metal being ripped open and torn. 

He felt nauseous. That day was still very faint and distant in his mind, but he still dreams about those emotions, so far off but close enough to have that first wave of panic and fear engulf him. 

He reached for his phone, writing out a message quickly but suddenly remembering snippets the day before. His dumb brain struggling piece together that Lance had gone into heat. 

_Right, no texting him. Don’t bother him during his heat._ But he couldn't help smiling at Lance's little goodnight message. It was cute.

Shiro breathed in deep, hating not being able to contact his one trustworthy outlet.

Damn, today was going to suck.

There was still a slight tingle to his skin from his rowdy rut, as well as the crushing feeling of his chest from his nightmare. Everything hurt. His limbs ached, back tense from sleeping heavy on one side, and every thought of his small omega sent thrills up his spine and coaxed heat back into his lower stomach.

_His omega?_

Shiro shook his head trying to stave off some of the fog from his mind. 

Lance wasn’t his. Yeah, they’ve been friends for a while. Only that, friends. He didn’t belong to anyone actually.

Yet Shiro felt like he was submerged in fire. The realization that Lance, in fact, didn’t have anyone and wasn’t claimed sent tendrils of warmth through his body, but was quickly doused again with the cold reality that he wasn’t actually sure.

They were around each often enough, but also the times without him were vast and left Shiro lonely and craving. Not so much as a message from him in hours and the thought of Lance filling that time with another had Shiro’s heart wrenched out of his chest but also had him bristling at the mere idea of someone touching Lance.

For a moment he thought about someone else rubbing against Lance’s neck, scenting him and knowing what it felt like to be surrounded and wrapped up in everything that was the omega. There had been times, and he hates to admit this to himself, where Lance had lingering smells, some that were so foreign on him that Shiro had picked them up almost immediately.

Damn, what a creep he was.

Shiro sighed, falling back onto his pillows with a thump and laid there staring up at the streetlamp with the ice hanging off it until his own rut scent curdled his stomach and made his head groggy.

He really needed to clean up. The stench in his apartment was overwhelming. It’s been awhile since he had a rut like that, the air thick and settling in the back of his throat. All of it was too much, he wanted the sweet smells that accompanied Lance, but none of it had lasted.

He groaned, ignoring the need in his chest and pushed through clearing out his sheets even as heat spread through his limbs. Again, the pit in his stomach grew with dread. He shouldn’t have let Lance leave. Then came the worry and Shiro whined like a dog. _That little omega was facing his heat alone, he needed help!_

 _No! Damn it!_ Lance was a grown, capable man and could handle it himself, he has handled his heats many times before without help.

Shiro sighed, he really needed to stop putting himself down so much. This was a lot for him, every time.

He should honestly get this over with, find someone willing to share his first time and fuck it out of his system.

He really wanted Lance though. But could he do that? Shiro didn't know if he could even confront Lance with that in mind. They had a great friendship after all. 

But also his gut clenched. He'd scented Lance, without his permission. He went into his own room and smelled Lance's heat on his sheets like a perverted teen and tried to get off to it. How could he really be Lance's friend, when he was so willing to masturbate to him at every chance?

Shiro huffed. This was stupid. He'd been wanting to ask Lance out for so long, but now when the time arises, he panics.

It really wasn't the time, though. Lance was in heat, and neither of them could make any great decisions then.

Shiro patted his own back. A small, pathetic pat. _Good job, Takashi, you’re thinking like a decent person._

Then there was Hunk’s text. It was early in the morning, so Shiro didn't see it until now.

_You're off Lance duty this time._

Shiro sighed. He figured that would happen, with the way he's been acting… And still is. There was no getting around these wonderful little pressing thoughts.

There were so many things to concentrate on but it all revolved around Lance. He smiled, even thinking of that pretty name made his heart ache. He's going to get in trouble one day because of that.

Slowly he set about cleaning his apartment up, distracting himself from everything, but also wanting to think about it every second. It was hard to separate laundry, make lunch, and study without thinking about that vocal and vibrant boy. He really was something.

And it made it worse when Keith left messages in the group chat throughout the day.

_Lance is chirping to Criminal._

_He won't eat the food I made him... Help?_

_Lance says he loves you guys!_

Shiro felt his hair prickle at that last one.

So he turned off his phone, stuffing it in his pocket the rest of the day.

It was hard to do laundry after that. His mind kept wandering. _He could do it so much better! He was built for that._

Shiro shoved the thoughts away as fast as they came. He wasn't fit to take care of anyone right now. Not with how he was mixing colors in with whites.

It felt like everything Shiro did reminded him of something from Lance. Like the time he found Lance trying to get all the water out of his house because his washing machine broke, or how he complained every twenty minutes about having to study. And Lance was always the one wanting to cook. He would never admit it out loud that Shiro sucked but he let it be known with his looks. 

Yeah, Shiro could burn water. But he could make amazing eggs and pancakes. That always won Lance over in the mornings. None of them knew how that worked, but Shiro was a morning person anyway and they let him take over everything involving food and, well… anything a normal person did before 10 am. 

He didn’t mind Lance waking up late after a long study session the night before. It gave Shiro the chance to come check in on him, to see him curled up and hugging tight onto his pillow, or stretched out and snoring softly as he clutched his phone. Lance was strange about his phone. He often left it willy nilly in odd places, once almost washing it with his jeans, but also had to be clutching onto it as he slept in order to hear his alarm.

Shiro adored that. He knew the first alarm wouldn’t wake Lance so it was the usual cue to start making breakfast, and then hearing the second one and Lance suddenly shuffling as he got ready made Shiro’s heart swell. And, for some reason, Lance thinks it’s fair to wear one of Shiro’s sweatshirts for the day, as if seeing his ruffled hair and bleary eyes wasn’t hard enough to resist.

Shiro almost missed his exam.

He got too caught up in doing laundry. Some of his shirts still had Lance’s lingering scents from the week before, but not the kind he needed then. Yeah, he was scenting Lance, he'd admit that, it was too tempting not to in that moment.

But bless his past self for setting a thirty minute alarm, or he would be crying on the floor later that night after realizing what happened, contemplating if he should drop the class. It was hell finding parking, and even more of a panic when he saw the professor walking out of the room to lock the doors.

Also bless that other student for showing up late, too. It gave him the chance to sneak right passed the professor unnoticed and rush to a seat without getting a lecture.

He was confident enough for this exam, but as soon as he was handed the paper and started reading through it, all the information seemed like Sumerian history instead of quantum physics. Shiro sat there, staring as he tried to wrap his mind around the moving symbols and text on the page. He felt like passing out. _This should all make sense!_

_Lance makes sense._

Every plane and curve to his body made sense. It was perfect actually. Fit so well into the world that Shiro couldn’t see himself without that, wouldn’t be able to live a day where he couldn’t look up where Lance was sitting in front of him reading, or followed the slow bend in his smile as he smirked, or the way his eyes crinkled around the edges when he laughed, sounds falling into reality so suddenly it jared Shiro to life.

And the colors. It was all so vibrant, Lance made his life blinding. Where Shiro was steady and quiet as he went on with his life, Lance wrapped himself freely around him, bringing life to his world like morning glories did to the sides of houses, untamed and vibrant against the singular color and straight planes. They somehow brought a whole new life to the house.

Lance managed to do that to him from the beginning, even making Shiro stay late into the night that first meeting, dancing and learning each other’s movements as they went. It was so natural to fall in line with him, he made it easy. Shiro wished he had done something then, touched him or moved in close, anything that would have said he wanted to be more...

Shiro shook his head, huffing loud enough to startle the beta next to him and make them shrink.

He must have been releasing some kind of scent because even the professor walked over and laid a hand on his table to get Shiro’s attention, raising a brow at him for a moment as they walked passed. Testing, making sure Shiro kept to himself and stayed at a respectable level for all the students.

An alpha, full of mood swings and a rampant temper. He frowned, but bit down on his tongue and went on with the exam.

His rut was still there, he knew it would last, but the suppressants from last night was doing wonders, even though the back of his neck itched, as if his thoughts were rising to the surface, distant ideas about where he wanted his cock could to go.

The grunt he made was enough for the beta to stand up and asked to be moved. Scowls came from all directions and Shiro tried to apologize silently to them, but he didn't know how the look came off when all he could think about was shoving his dick into certain areas. 

It strangely helped that an omega was put near him, because he had already scented one and had been stuck on them for a year now, and also the girls scent was so bland and uninteresting. At least he could concentrate some now that he was thinking about being a model citizen and respectful to the rest of the class. Right, quantum physics, that's what he was doing now.

By some luck, he passed, nervously awaiting his grade as the professor looked it over, _right in front of him_. Still, the professor gave him a look. He could have done better, but the comment they made crawled under his skin and brought a sick taste to his mouth. 

“Study Mr. Shirogane, you're doing great in this class, but don't get distracted.” 

_Don't get distracted? What a dumb thing to say!_

That was impossible, when every night this week he went home and suffered through his homework so he could finally stuff a hand down his pants. It was only one in the afternoon the second time he came on Sunday, and he laid there, panting as he continued working his hand over his cock, feeling the knot finally shrink despite the burn in his stomach, relenting to his mental state.

He was exhausted, cock aching in his hand but soft finally. The need to rest was more insistent, but he was unsatisfied, his body wanted more. It knew what he was after, but Shiro could only whine at the thought of it-- hole tight around him and leaking slick with each thrust, taking every drop and holding it until given the okay to relax and wet the sheets underneath, a mixture of white and bruises marbling tanned thighs. Shiro could only imagine the moans in his head. It didn’t sound like Lance. It wasn’t enough.

He stared up at the ceiling, wondering how Lance was, if he was between spikes or going through one right now, slick wetting his thighs and fingers as they worked in folds. Shiro wondered if Lance tastes his own cum after finally settling down from the heat and round of ecstacy.

Shiro groaned, rolling to his side to try and stifle the sudden twitch of interest in his cock.

He still wanted to know how hard Lance clenched down on his own fingers when cumming.

Another bubble of heat ran along his skin, prickling in his cheeks and sensitive parts of his body. Again, his cock stirred and hips rut against the pillow he had somehow drug closer. Another huff came up in his throat, but more in submission than anything else as Shiro let his hips come forward again and ground against the pillow.

If this was what it was like for omegas-- getting triggered by any straying thought, then how did they get anything done?

He didn't understand how they could do this for a week. Yet here he was, going on a day longer in his rut than usual. It would turn into a full week soon if he didn't get himself under control.

Shiro sighed and shifted. He really needed to stop watching porn. Everything was giving him terrible ideas, but… he really did want to see some of it for real.

And then there were other concerns that came when watching things like that. He didn’t want to hurt Lance, even stared at his knot one night and thought about all the terrible, and pleasant, outcomes for twenty minutes trying to figure out which was more likely. He didn't want to hear Lance scream, he wanted to see him go lax, pliant and purring, tight around Shiro's cock as he was bred and chirping when he wanted attention. Lance would be the kind to make chuffs, pretty little sounds on his lips that Shiro would happily lick up greedily and taste, hearing them moaned against his tongue as he lapped.

Shiro looked at his teeth, too. He watched some marking videos. _It was terrifying!_ Some of the alpha’s had larger teeth, so their partners bled more and the marks were ragged looking. He didn’t want to mark Lance on accident either, he wanted to be able to talk to him first! _Like that was going to even be a possibility…Like Lance would even consider him for that long, or even at all._

He learned about alpha dynamics when he was young, of course, and it scared him. They could get violent. He didn't want to be like that, he wanted to take care of his mate, whether they were omega, beta or alpha, he didn't care. Shiro didn't want to be rough like that, and it made him nervous because maybe he would be like that around Lance. Heats were strong influences, and with the way Lance had Shiro wrapped around his finger, he wasn't sure he could control himself if he ever experienced that.

There was something odd about the teeth thing though, and he kept coming back to it. It was like… a fetish for the size, and all the “prime” alphas had large canines. He hated that term, it made him feel like a slab of meat. But looking at his own teeth, they were similar to some in the charts he came across. _Desirable…_

Lance always played with his teeth or got him to do things that showed them off, which was strange, but he couldn’t really remember what Lance’s face looked like while he did it. He always pressed his fingers into Shiro’s glands while doing that, and that made him go blank.

_Was Lance distracting him by doing that?_

Shiro always noticed the subtle change to his scent though, but he was never able to process it fully while laid out and pliant under Lance’s hands.

He had to look it up, but it seemed innocent enough. _Odontophilia? Hmm, seems straightforward._ Shiro even smiled. The description and examples were intimate in a way. He really wanted to see his teeth marks on Lance’s skin like that. The other aspects of the term made him nervous, so he clicked out of the tab and touched his shoulder, rubbing it and wondering what that would feel like.

_Is that why Lance always touched his teeth? Was he really… checking them out?_

Shiro couldn’t keep from touching his teeth then. It was something strange...but he liked it. He wondered what was so special about it to Lance, if that was the reason. He wanted to ask, but then again that was awkward. Maybe it was something most omegas were into?

He hesitated, hovering his hands over his laptop again. This was the type of stuff they didn’t learn in classes, this was more intimate. Shiro wanted to know, but also he wanted Lance to tell him, if it was something that made his eyes light up, or if he stuttered over his words and got flustered. 

He opened it anyway. What better way to learn than doing, and doing as in, look up tons of experiences and watch those phone recordings off random blogs. 

Shiro went slow with his search, trying to lazily happen upon something suddenly, like it was a new discovery! But hell, he knew what he was typing, knew as the heat from his face spread with what he wanted to see and read.

The text posts were fascinating, the videos even more intimate than he expected, omegas eagerly displaying themselves for their partners, little mating calls and chuffs, even post-marking bliss. Shiro clicked out of these fast. He shouldn't be thinking of Lance like that, damn it, he was trying to figure some things out!

It took him some time, skimming over longer reads, and then, not so much, reluctantly opening private tabs to watch videos and read further in depth. 

The scenting was interesting and a lot more than he expected. He didn't know omegas collect their mates scent on their skin and managed keep it for days, as something to cope with if they needed.

Shiro fidgeted with the hem of his shirt.

He wondered if Lance was using his jacket like that, leath body rutting against it, attempting to rub the scent between his legs and mix it with his own.

Shiro loved that image. The blog had written out things so clearly, how the omegas they met wanted that more primal scent in them. So that it mingled with their own and leaked out heavily when aroused.

Shiro chuffed. He wondered what Lance's orgasm scent was like. 

That was the thing he has always been craving since the moment they met. Which was terrible to say, but what could he do around a person like Lance? He was completely lost in the omega. 

Shiro shivered thinking about it. He wanted to have that in his mouth, swallowed down so every time he breathed he could taste Lance. Also, he wondered how Lance would feel while cumming around him, coating his cock in his own deep scent that would stick to Shiro for days after.

Fuck, he was in way too deep with this, a shudder running up his body, but he didn't want to dig back out. If he was already lost to Lance, then what was the point?

But the longer he looked, the more questions arose. 

Like Keith….

Why was he the only one who really stayed with Lance?

Shiro knew omega's loved company, but he figured they were too protective of their space to want anyone around while in heat.

It was strange to see, but Lance always asked for one of them. Never him, but at least one of the others. 

It had his nails clicking against his computer impatiently, trying to find that one word he forgot about. It's been so long since he took any psychology or health classes, so everything was fuzzy.

He came across a few articles, but one in particular gave a synopsis for a book, highlighting key points of what Shiro was looking for.

He skimmed over it, hanging on some of the passages.

_“Omega's usually experienced heightened senses, that force their brain into a continuous state of stimulation. Not only are they more aware to these images, smells, and sounds, but they respond accordingly, often reflecting what their environment portrays.”_

That was a given, but he kept going, finally coming across the word he needed, the meaning lighting up in his head after so many years. It was such a simple word. He should have remembered.

_“Companionship is often the most reaction inducing, and most common type of relief.”_

Another given, yet he didn't know the extent to what that relief was. It made his stomach turn over, probably thinking too deeply into it.

_“The balance of said Companion often affects the balance of those in peak cycles. Frosts or heat sicknesses often are linked directly with Companionship, and are often major signs of abuse or neglect.”_

Shiro paused, skimming over the rest of the page. He had no idea what a Frost was, but it made his skin crawl just reading the word.

He continued looking around for answers, winding up on other pages more centered toward the differences in Companion endotype mixings.

The omega pairing caught his eye immediately, and he hated how there was no hesitation when clicking.

There was a lot here, about a sixteen page article of information, but he skimmed, catching on certain places more than others, particularly with the Companion trope in mind. Overall it looked like a healthy relationship, one that developed over time and was stable, full of trust and understanding. He read through most of it, noting one that eased his mind, though he didn't want to admit it.

_“This Companion pairing is often aware of the others needs, relying more on the bonding aspect than that of physical needs. Omegas generally understand the need for connection over participation, in that they won't ask for bodily attention if the other is unsure or resistant, and would rather maintain their mental and emotional relationships.”_

Shiro stared at the page a little longer, head wandering to Lance and if he ever actually asked for anyone to touch him. But that was water he wasn't willing to cross through, nor did he want to posture and fume at the others as potential threats. They were his friends, and they all adored Lance equally.

...But not as much as him.

Shiro continued, and sat up when he scrolled further, crossing over the alpha and omega section of the article.

His heart dropped just as fast reading the Companion section, and even more so looking over the spouse section. Shiro was feeling his heart sink little by little as he read more.

_“Often one of the most common in culture, constructed around an age old, archaic, desire: this pairing is the most conflicting and problem inducing of the others. While omegas promote health and prosperity, Alphas are notorious for their manipulative biology and forceful tactics. They have been charted as the most harm inducing endotype for omegas, unlike that of a beta or another omega. Because of their polar opposite nature, they often create catastrophic climates.”_

Shiro felt his frown growing the further he scrolled, skimming words such as “derisive”, “profane”, and “advantageous”. 

Shiro sunk low as he was given head line after head line of alpha's in the news, having been reporting abusing their Companion, charged with assault on their spouse, or causing instances in public spaces. They were all so terrifying. 

His heart was in his throat reading an article in particular, where one of the anonymous omega’s were quoted there, practically feeling the words slice through him at the betrayal they held in their words. The pair he read about had been mated for eight years, but they grew unsteady, to the point the omega didn't feel as if they could satisfy themselves or their mate anymore, resorting to harm, and eventually flinched away every time their alpha laid a hand on them.

Another was one he heard in the news recently, of an alpha having assaulted their omega when in heat, who didn't want to be touched and eventually broke their rib. It was hard to swallow then, as well as now. He remembered seeing images of the victim, of the bruises and marks.

Shiro couldn't help from shoving into his nest deeper and closing his laptop. He sat there, staring at the lamp outside again, at the ice that clouded the window.

There was nothing more he wanted to do than nose his way into Lance's space right then, to clear his head and get away from everything.

He shouldn't have dug so deep. Now his shoulders were aching from stress and his nest was no longer comfortable. It was quiet in his apartment, much more so when the air conditioner was off.

Shiro kind of… missed everyone. He missed the loudness and joking. He missed their comforting smells. Matt always had a particular scent, one that settled his head and stomach. Shiro really needed that right now.

Shiro fumbled for his phone, reaching to dig it out of his pants that were lost in the mass of bedding and blankets. He was an idiot, having stripped to touch himself halfway through some of his findings. Now he was only cold and shaking. 

He finally turned on his phone and ran through the messages he missed. A lot were of Lance's condition. Apparently he had walled himself up in the bathroom and wouldn't get out of the shower, singing loudly to music before his phone died and he snuck out irritated and dejectedly. Shiro smiled at the image, putting himself there in Lance's living room as he proceeded to take a forty minute shower. Shiro has been on the receiving end of that before, often unable to keep from smiling to himself as Lance's voice suddenly peaked as he screamed Toxic. There was something about Britney Spears that always made Lance lose it. 

Shiro continued smiling as he scrolled through his phone, lazily looking through his camera roll to find videos of everyone. Mostly of Lance though--Shiro wanted to hear his voice.

He finds a few of them in the mall, where Lance is walking...well, skipping ahead on his long legs, before turning around to comment on whatever Hunk said. Shiro pauses it, finding the one frame of Lance's adorable smile, his eyes tightly closed like he’s about to laugh, nose crinkled as he beams, hands tucked into the pockets of his oversized coat. He looked so good in it, with his suit jacket underneath and tailored pants. He had gone to a job interview that day, and Shiro couldn't stop taking pictures, mostly out of Lance asking, but also because Lance looked gorgeous. 

Shiro huffed, unable to hold back a smile as he scrolled through the images, finding one of him and Lance both dressed for a presentation. Lance always looked amazing in his deep blue suit.

He exited out of the camera roll before he could get into anymore trouble that day. Mindlessly looking at other images he saved-- some from class friends and lecture notes. But one caught his eye… actually several.

It's several of Lance, unmistakably so, with his skin on display and hip out, smile wide as he burrowed into a nest. The same image saved again and again.

_What?_

Shiro blinks, searching his brain a moment before landing on something terrible.

He shoots up in bed, shoving aside his laptop and blankets. He completely forgot! Which wasn't really a surprise, but still! His ruts always messed up a few, crucial, parts of his nights. 

Frantically he goes to his messages, but there was nothing. Shiro blinks slow again, scrolling up through his messages, looking through photos. Nothing. Maybe his head had mistakenly made up something, but that couldn't be right.

The last thing Lance sent was a goodnight message a few days ago. Shiro groaned low, trying to rack his brain apart and find it. He knew there was more, he remembered _something_. Like a major feeling all through his body.

It was fleeting, but was there. Lance did send him that, Shiro probably had gone through his usual mental crisis about Lance and wanted to be modest while in his rut, to cover up something Lance might not have meant. Yet, he still saved it, and several times, too. 

Shiro groaned at himself. He was not as good a person as he hoped his rut driven state was.

But what was worse was that he didn't message Lance back after that, after four days! 

Shiro felt his whole body grow heavy. He probably broke Lance's heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for taking your time to read this! Make sure to leave comments here, I love the suggestions. Hope you enjoyed <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it and don't hesitate to leave a comment!
> 
> Come find me on my [tumblr](tetsarou.tumblr.com) and yell about shance with me!


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